“Stroke my cock while you fuck me,” Drake commands, and I assume Hunter listens because the next thing I hear is Drake muttering broken words and phrases: like that, yes, good, perfect, oh God.
“I’m gonna come,” someone says in a breathy exhale, and I don’t know who it was because I’m too lost in my own orgasm. My head hangs back, my spine slick with sweat, as I soar toward my climax, blinded by pleasure.
When the hearing returns to my ears and my eyes finally open again, I make out the sound of their kisses and what sounds like a tender moment of whispers that I can’t quite distinguish. After everything, it sounds like a private moment, so once I’ve caught my breath, I slink back down the hall and straight into my bathroom.
Standing at the sink after I’ve washed my hands and doused my face with cold water, I stare at my reflection. The girl staring back is momentarily happy, but I quickly cure her peace with all the fears and thoughts I’ve been keeping pushed away.
Like what is going to happen to us if this all falls apart? What if Drake doesn’t want to commit and leaves us? What if Hunter can’t come to terms with his sexuality? What if losing Drake breaks our marriage because I’m not enough?
They’re stupid worries, really, but I can’t help myself. I’m barely used to one person loving me so much. What are the odds the three of us actually make this work and end up together? It’s too good to be true. There are too many complications to worry about. Too much at stake.
I want to crawl into bed with them, lie between them and let their nearness scare away all of the worries, but I can’t. Instead, I climb into bed with my own fear and fall asleep, alone.
When I wake, I’m no longer alone. I hear the buzz of Hunter’s electric razor as I peel my eyes open.
“Morning,” he chimes with a bright smile.
Well, aren’t you chipper this morning?
“Morning,” I reply with a stretch. Climbing out of bed, I walk into the master bathroom and we go through our usual morning routine, like everything isn’t so strange right now. After washing my hands and brushing my teeth, I pause and lean against the counter, staring at him through the mirror.
Hunter will try and stay silent through everything. He doesn’t want to talk about it because talking about it means facing the truth and having to make a decision. It means change, and change is scary. But I’m not going to let my husband live in silence anymore.
“You didn’t come to bed last night.”
He pauses, the playful grin melting off his face. “I slept in the guest room with Drake.”
I bite my lip as I stare at his reflection. Then that wicked grin tugs on the corner of his mouth again as he steps closer to me, crowding me against the sink. Staring back at me through the mirror, he leans in and kisses the side of my neck.
“But you knew that already, didn’t you, Red?”
So he did hear me in the hallway.
“Maybe,” I reply, my lips pressed together.
His arms snake their way around my waist, pulling me closer. “And did you like what you saw?”
“Did you?” I reply, staring at him and fighting the urge to melt to the floor. I want to hear him say it. My husband had sex with a man last night, a pretty big deal that I’m not going to let him just avoid facing.
He pauses in his attempt to make this about me watching him. Then his gaze lifts to my face in the mirror. Sincerity washes over his expression as his brow furrows and his mouth sets in a thin line. “Yes.”
“What does this mean?” I ask carefully.
“It doesn’t mean anything. We got carried away and—"
“Hunter,” I snap, cutting him off.
He swallows, looking more nervous than confident at the moment. I turn to look at him, touching his face. The fear in his eyes guts me to my core. “This doesn’t change anything about who you are. If anything, I think it just makes you more you.”
“What about us?” he asks with trepidation in his eyes.
“I think we need to start acknowledging that there’s a new us.”
He takes a deep breath, letting his shoulders slide down away from his ears. “Is that what you want?”
I bite my lip. “Yes.”
Hesitation burrows itself back into his expression as he pulls away. “I don’t know, Red. I just don’t know how long that can last. It’s too complicated.”
“So what…you want to just keep having sex with him and keeping him tethered to our marriage? Is that fair?” I ask. Distantly, I wonder if Drake is still here. Can he hear us from the guest room?