Behind me, I can almost feel Lowe glower.
“Of course, my lady.”
She rushes over to a spot near the stove and grabs a basket of apples, bringing it over for me to choose. I pick out the largest one in the bunch. “Do you need anything else? Bread? Cheeses? Shall I send someone down for some wine…？”
I’m tempted by the wine, but I shake my head. “This is perfect, thank you.” With a nod, I walk out, ears perking at the murmuring that erupts as soon as I leave.
“I thought you said you weren’t hungry, my lady?” Lowe asks pointedly.
I shove the apple into my pocket right next to the rag and then give him a breezy look over my shoulder. “A lady is entitled to change her mind. Now, where should we go next?”
The guards look at each other, and their dread just makes it all so much more fun.
“We should really go speak with the king—”
I cut Scofield off. “King Midas is incredibly busy, and the last thing he would want is for you to interrupt him while he’s working. It’s just a castle tour,” I say before turning on my heel and starting to walk again. “Oh, how about the library?”
“The…library, my lady?” Lowe repeats.
“Yep, you know, the place with historic tomes and the occasional romance novel?” When he still hesitates, I frown. “Does Ranhold frown upon reading or something?”
“It’s just…well, the royal library is not open to the public. Unless you are royal, you must have an appointment with the scribes.”
Wow, this palace is really particular about their books.
“Alright, then let’s go make an appointment.”
Lowe blinks at me. “Right now?”
“No time like the present. I didn’t shove all my bits into this dress for nothing, gentlemen,” I say, gesturing down my broken bodice. “Oh, and does the castle have a garden?”
Another long blink. Poor Lowe doesn’t seem to like tours, or books, or plants. “Well, there’s a greenhouse, my lady.”
“Perfect, we can go there after.”
I swear I hear Lowe sigh, which just makes a smirk tug at my lips. I probably shouldn’t feel such a thrill at this, but I do.
It’s a small thing, walking around, talking to staff, doing what I want to do when I want to do it. For nearly the entire time I’ve lived in Orea, I haven’t been able to make my own decisions.
Everything has been dictated to me since I was a child, so this small piece of freedom is incredibly satisfying. My newfound rebellious streak has me practically skipping down the halls. I feel freer already, and this is just the beginning. This excitement reminds me of what I need to fight for.
Be quiet. Sit pretty. Play your silly music. Behave.
Those old orders play in my head like an overdone song that I have no desire to listen to anymore. I use every old order, every manipulation to stoke my fiery resentment, to keep me lit up with focus.
If Midas is going to keep up his remorseful and accommodating act to make me compliant, then I need to be on guard against everything he might throw at me. I can’t let myself be tricked or swayed.
Which is why I start to recite every single controlling rule he ever imposed on me throughout the years. It’s why I recall every time he pulled my strings, exploited me, used my feelings for his own machinations.
He made me suffer for years. He took away my control.
Now, it’s time I take it back.
Chapter 6
AUREN
“My lady, can we please bring you back to your rooms now?”
I turn to look at Lowe over my shoulder as we walk across the castle’s bailey. Who knew trained soldiers could be such whiners?
“Soon,” I assure him.
He doesn’t look appeased. “Forgive me, but that’s what you said after the greenhouse.”
“And the library,” Scofield puts in unhelpfully.
I roll my eyes. None of the damn scribes would even come to the door when I knocked.
“The music hall as well,” Lowe adds.
“Hmm, so I did.”
My steps are unhurried, the hem of my dress sweeping the thin layer of powdery snow as I walk the grounds. Lowe and Scofield have taken me all around Ranhold Castle today, to as many places as I could think of to go.
And even though it’s been hours, I’m still not ready to go back to my rooms. It seems I’ve developed a taste for freedom. Every time I take another bite, I want more. My spirit is ravenous for rampancy. Starving for wander. I want to go everywhere, see everything. For the first time, Midas isn’t here to dictate to me.