“Drollard Village, yes. A bit colder than where I was raised,” he says with a smile that crinkles his scars.
Slade has told me very little about this place so far. I only know that it exists without actually existing. The strip of desolate land is all that he acquired when he decided not to declare war.
But why?
Why this place?
What’s so important here that he wanted to make it part of Fourth Kingdom when it was outside his territory?
Perhaps it’s just because of the rot. I’ve heard of how his power has surpassed his own territory and leached into Fifth. But I can’t help but feel like it’s more than that. Why keep an entire village hidden?
My mind spins with questions, but before I can ask Hojat anything else, he’s already leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. My eyes drop down to the lotus while barely-there memories try to stick to my mind. They’re nothing more than pieces of lint clinging with nothing but static.
A willow branch hanging from a bedpost. Peonies tied with a ribbon and tucked beneath my pillow. Waking with the crushed remnants, fingers brushing against the dried shards, the scent of them tucked into the fabric of my pillow.
Gently, I place the offering on the bed, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over me, knotted curiosity tying down my limbs.
After making myself get up, I use the washroom and wash my hands before I comb back my hair to rid it of tangles, and tie it off in a simple braid that will work for training. But then I realize that I don’t have another clean pair of leggings in my closet. Slade was going to bring me more from his room, but he must’ve forgotten.
I hesitate for a moment, debating whether or not I should just head off to meet Judd for training, but I need to wear the thicker pants to help cushion against the splintered hay. So I push back my shoulders and leave the room, heading down the hallway until I get to the very last door at the end.
My fingers curl around the doorknob, but it takes several seconds before I gain the courage to actually turn it. When I do, I stop in the doorway, staring at the bed.
Gold covers the entire mattress, the whole of it spreading from headboard to foot, perhaps an inch thick where it’s pooled in the center, the liquid now frozen and still. I walk slowly over to it, staring down at my gilded reflection within.
Since Slade brought me to the cave a few days ago and I confessed everything that happened in Carnith, he’s backed off. Talking was good for both of us, but when it comes to my magic, I’m not ready. I want to concentrate on getting physically stronger first, and then I’ll feel like I’ll be able to tackle my gold.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am blocking my power. But in a way, it’s a relief. I’ve gone so many years with it dripping from me uncontrollably. If only I’d snapped sooner and grappled this kind of control, my life would have been so different. So maybe it’s selfish, but I’m not ready for this intermission to end. I’m not ready to unblock it.
Even now, looking down at this frozen pond on the bed, I don’t want to touch it, to connect with it. I want to be me without the gold-touch for just a little while longer.
I give myself one last long look at my reflection before I turn away, going into Slade’s closet where, thankfully, I find a pair of leggings to slip on. I don’t look at the bed again as I walk out. It’s only once I’ve shut the door behind me that I let out a shuddering breath.
“There you are,” Lu calls, walking up. “I was looking for you.”
“What for?”
She stops in front of me, dressed in her usual army leathers, and for once, her slippers are nowhere in sight. “Since it’s a nice night, I figured you might want to go out and walk around. You must be feeling cabin fever by now.”
A laugh escapes me. “I lived in a cage for ten years.”
“Oh. Right.” Lu shrugs. “Well, anyway, what do you say I take you into the pavilion where you can meet the villagers?”
I hesitate. So far, my only venture out of the Grotto has been when Slade took me to the other cave where we spoke. Between the house and training with Judd, I haven’t had any real reason to leave the cave, and I’ve felt protected here. Like the rest of the world can’t touch me. So long as I stay in here, I don’t have to face anything or anyone else yet.
“I can’t. I’m supposed to meet Judd for some training.”
“You’ve been working hard, you can skip tonight.”
I paste a forced smile on my face. “No, I’d better not. I don’t want to let Judd down.”