“The world can judge us all it wants, doesn’t mean we have to give a shit.”
“Eloquent,” she says dryly, though her lips tilt up into an almost smile, and the sight is like a punch to the gut. What would she look like if she really smiled?
I shouldn’t be thinking questions like that. Which is exactly why I need to keep avoiding her.
“Never said I was a poet.”
Getting to my feet, I leave the cup on the log before straightening up. “Enjoy the fire.” I start walking away to head for my tent, but light footsteps rush after me.
“Why are you leaving?” she asks as soon as she reaches my side.
“It’s getting late. Gotta get up before dawn to start breaking all this shit down again, just like I do every morning.”
I can practically feel how loudly she’s thinking, but it’s not until I reach my tent and stop to turn to her that she drudges up the determination to speak. “I’ve been thinking. I know we’re going to reach Fourth’s capital soon, and…well. You know my plans on leaving, but I thought…”
I’ve never seen her so unsure before, stumbling over her words and looking around nervously.
“You thought…” I prompt.
“Maybe you were right. About making good mistakes.”
I arch a brow but say nothing.
Irritation blooms over her face. “Do I have to spell it out? I want to fuck.”
Her blunt words make me rear back in surprise, and I instantly go hard, my dick pressing against my leather pants.
I cross my arms in front of me. “You don’t know what you really want.”
Her irritation morphs into full-blown anger. “Excuse me? Don’t presume to speak as if you know what I’m thinking. I’m here, aren’t I? I approached you.”
“Yeah, but you also kissed me, and that didn’t stop you from regretting it after. I’m all for actively enjoying some fucking great mistakes, but I’m not interested in regret. That’s something else entirely, and we both know that’s exactly what you’d condemn it as.”
She can’t even deny it. I see it right there on her face, and it fucking guts me. Her stunned silence says it all.
“Thought so,” I tell her as I let out a sigh. “Go back to your tent, Yellow Bell.”
Embarrassed hurt flashes across her features, which feels like a knife digging into my stomach, but I hold my ground.
“You think you know what you want, but you don’t. Not yet. So come and find me when you figure that out.”
Red blotches dot her cheeks, and a bitter laugh escapes her. “You know what? Fine. I just thought we could do it to pass the time, get whatever this is between us out of our systems. But you’re out of your mind if you think I’d ever come back to you now. I know my worth.”
I level her with a look. “So do I.”
Her eyes widen fractionally, and her delicate throat bobs. Guilt wracks me because I know I’ve embarrassed her, know I probably just put the last nail in the coffin to this thing before it could even open in the first place, but I also know if I let her instigate this now, it won’t be right. And I need it to be right—for both of us. Because I think there could be something here, and I don’t want it to be ruined by letting her try to get me out of her system. Fuck that.
“You are the worst bad mistake I’m glad I never made,” she hisses.
“And you’re still the best mistake I can’t wait to make,” I retort with a smirk. “When you’re ready to admit it.”
Letting out a growl, she turns and stomps away, and as soon as she disappears from view, the amusement wipes off my face.
Fuck.
I hope I made the right decision. Because if I’m wrong, I just pushed her away for good, and that means I’m going to be the one with regret.
CHAPTER 54
SLADE
It takes ten minutes on the back of Argo to make it to the city’s army base.
At the bottom of Banded Mountain, you can spot the corners of a few of the buildings if you’re standing on the west tower of the castle. It’s a checkered collection of squares tucked in with the forest trees, walled up and meant to house a few thousand soldiers.
Right now, it’s about to house far more than that.
As I fly toward it, I see streams of soldiers marching in, this bird’s eye view making them look like a flowing river of black leather. Their progression is rife with curves and turns as thousands of men and women tread across the landscape, passing over the largest bridges and cutting past the castle, their sights set on the looming mountain.