“That’s right,” Polly pounces, peeled finger pointed at her face. “That’s what you’re not getting, what you haven’t understood through this entire Divine-forsaken trip. You didn’t rescue me. I was happy there.”
“You were high!”
“So? I liked it. I liked the way it made me feel. And it was my choice.”
Anger flashes through Rissa’s eyes. “I wasn’t just going to leave you there to drug yourself to death!”
“I wasn’t going to,” Polly snaps. “Not that you’d believe me. But you know the difference between you and me? All those times you talked about buying out your contract? You never once noticed I didn’t want that. You thought that everyone—me included—wanted out as much as you did, but you were wrong.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I like being a saddle, Rissa. You were the only one that started to hate it. But guess what. We might look alike, but we don’t think alike. Because I’m a damn good saddle, and I want to keep doing it. I like being desired. I like the power sex gives me. Being a royal saddle was the best position I could hope for, and you dragged me out of there without my consent. So I am done.”
The jolted tangle of silence that quakes between them has my eyes darting left and right. I feel entirely out of place hearing this, so I do my best not to make any noise at all.
After a moment, Rissa seems to deflate, as if Polly’s words stuck a needle in her spine, letting the air out of her stiffened back. “I’m sorry, Polly,” she whispers, emotion thick in her voice. “I didn’t understand. I didn’t listen.”
“You’re right. You didn’t,” she snaps. “You always think I’m just being stupid Polly. Immature Polly. High, irresponsible, bitchy Polly. And maybe I am those things, but I am also a damn good saddle, and there’s no shame in that.”
“Of course there’s not,” Rissa says imploringly. “I was a saddle by choice in the beginning. I never thought that.”
“Good. Because you were a damn good one too, and I liked that we were a team. But we can’t be one anymore. Our king is dead and now we’re here, and we both want different things.”
A sheen of moisture glazes over Rissa’s eyes, and she dips her head slightly. I’ve never seen Rissa so cowed. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Polly gives a sharp nod, and then her back seems to loosen some of its stiffness as well. She drags her gaze to the window, arms crossed in front of her as she lets out a sigh. “Well. At least this place isn’t so damn cold,” she muses.
Rissa seems to take that as some sort of consolation and sends her a soft smile. “Yes. No more cold.”
The two women share a look, some of the hostility seeping away.
Of course, then Polly turns and levels her eyes on me. “Now, I need a bath to wash off weeks of traveling from my body, and a new dress so I can look my best. And then I want some coin and a carriage ride to the best and most expensive brothel in the city, because they’re about to employ their best saddle. Unless of course King Rot wants a new royal saddle,” she says with an arrogant twist of her lips.
I ignore that part, my eyes flicking to Rissa. “Some coin?”
She shrugs. “I told Polly that since you’re here with King Rot, you’d give us some help. Saddle to saddle.”
“She tried to drug me,” I say dryly.
“On Midas’s orders,” Polly retorts. “And what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t disobey him. Women have to do what they have to do.”
I let out a sigh, but sympathy rises up in me even though I don’t want it to. After everything, I don’t want to keep giving myself to people like Polly and Mist. But she’s right. Women have to do what they have to do. I just think our idea of that happens to be two very different things. “I’ll have something for you before you leave.”
I think surprise flashes over her eyes for a moment, but she shutters it before I can tell for sure. “So,” she begins, looking around the room, finger dragging over one of the high back cushioned chairs. “You changed kings quickly.”
I look at her coolly. “On the contrary. I changed far too slowly.”
She says nothing at that.
I get to my feet, closing the distance between us. “For what it’s worth, Polly, I hope you can be happy here in Fourth Kingdom.”
Her eyes narrow, like she doesn’t believe me. “Of course I’ll be happy,” she says defensively, as if she’s out to prove herself right, no matter the cost.