He holds up a hand, stopping me. “You saved my life, Sire. The least I can do is save your secrets. Anything that happens with you or the others will always be protected by me.”
I already know this. Hojat has long since earned my trust. Yet when it comes to Auren, I need to appease myself, because my fae nature is wound up tight. I’m struggling with having anyone near her while she’s in this vulnerable state. I catch a growl in the back of my throat, find myself jerking toward her, as if I’m going to block everyone away.
I have to tell myself that this is Hojat. I trust him with my life and with hers. So although the protectiveness punching through my pulse makes it incredibly difficult, I somehow force myself to nod and turn away from her.
Heading for the door on the right, I enter through my washroom that has an adjoining closet, finding the sconces already lit with low-burning oil. If I thought my bedroom was musty, my closet is even worse, despite the sprigs of pine someone left hanging on the clothing racks to ward off the closed-up scent. I quickly strip, dumping the stiff clothes in a pile.
When I’m yanking on a fresh pair of pants, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The veins of rotten power beneath my skin have multiplied and stretched from my chest to my abdomen. They’ve crept down my arms and up my back, squirming with aggravation along my jaw. They’re only this widespread and this unsettled when I’ve repressed my rot for too long. But this time, it has nothing to do with magic I’ve held back and everything to do with the female lying prone on my bed. My magic is reacting to her, my fae nature pumping power through my veins like a heart pumping adrenaline.
As if it knows the direction of my thoughts, the roots on my hands prickle and shift until I clamp them down into my fists. With gritted teeth, I finish getting dressed, covering up as much of them as I can.
By the time I’ve washed up and come back out into the bedroom, Hojat has also changed his clothes and is hard at work. He’s finishing up cleaning away the blood on Auren’s ribbons, his touch careful and perfunctory, the steaming bowl of water filled with some sort of mashed leaves that make the whole room smell of herbs.
Judd comes in carrying a clean bowl and another set of rags, and he sets both on the bedside table.
“Thank you, Captain Judd,” Hojat murmurs as he continues to concentrate on Auren. Both Judd and I watch as he puts some sort of salve along the ruined edges, and then he gently begins to lay strips of cloth along her back to cover the short ends. He’s not at all bothered or hesitant at her differences, not at all fazed by the fabric-like strips that he’s now treating. Hojat has seen many things during his time with me.
When he’s finished, he washes his hands in the clean bowl and turns to me. “Everything is cleaned. I will need to keep an eye on them to make sure they don’t get infected. She should rest on her stomach or side as much as she can.” He begins to collect his things, rolling up bits of dried herbs and stoppering vials as he puts everything back into his satchel.
“Should I do anything?” I ask, hating how helpless I feel. I’m not used to sitting back and doing nothing.
“Let her rest. Magic depletion can be very hard on the body, as you well know.” He sifts through his bag once more, pulling out a dried peony and stuffing it under her pillow before he gathers up his bag and both bowls. “I’ll go see Master Digby now and begin to treat him if I have your leave?”
“Yes, thank you, Hojat.”
He gives a slight bow. “It is always my pleasure to help you, Sire.”
When he leaves, I blow out a breath, hands shoving into my pockets. “Thank you, too,” I say to Judd where he’s leaning against the wall next to the fire. “For bringing Hojat. I should’ve thought of that.”
“You were a bit preoccupied,” he says before giving a jaw-cracking yawn.
“Go to sleep, Judd. You look like shit.”
He chuckles, rubbing a hand down his tanned face before scratching at his chin. “You really know how to build a man up. But you’re right. I’m the handsome one in the group, so it’s important I get my beauty sleep. Holler if you need anything, we’re all right down the hall.”
“I will.”
With a nod, Judd walks out, shutting the door behind him, and despite dozing off earlier, I still feel wiped out. I bank the fire and grab the chair next to the small table, dragging it forward as close to the bed as I can get. I settle down into it, resting my head in my hand while I study her. With her head tilted toward me, my gaze skims over the relaxed planes of her face, the curves of her cheeks, the plush form of her lips. Her skin glows beneath the firelight, and I can’t help but reach over to tuck back a piece of her hair.