“So,” he begins, letting his legs stretch in front of him so his boots are nearly inside the fire. I’m glad that for once, it’s not snowing tonight. The moment we’re out of Fifth Kingdom, I’m never going back to the cold. “How’s your friend doing?”
“She’s fine,” I say automatically, just as I’ve said to him the three other times he’s asked. Although, I suspect he’s the reason the mender keeps visiting every couple of days, so my answer probably doesn’t mean much. “She will be,” I amend.
The captain nods. “I’ve seen plenty of soldiers come down off things. It’s not easy to be a nursemaid through that.”
“She’s my friend.”
“Is she?”
I stiffen. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
He lifts a bulky shoulder, and I try not to stare when he crosses his arms in front of him, making his muscles bulge. I shouldn’t have let him give me his coat. Then his physique wouldn’t be so visible. “Just a question.”
“Is this about that disloyal talk about Auren?” I ask defensively. “Want to judge me some more?”
His eyebrows lift. “Retract your poison, Yellow Bell, I’m not judging shit. Just seems to me that this friend of yours isn’t being very friendly to you.”
“How do you know?”
He gives me a dry look. “Tent walls are thin.”
Embarrassment heats my face. “She’s just not feeling well.”
“Mm-hmm.”
I start to get to my feet. “If you’re just going to be an ass—”
He taps his foot against my shin, making me pause. “Sit down, Rissa.”
My butt hits the bucket. Hearing the gravelly tone of his voice say my name sends an odd thrill down my spine.
What the hell is wrong with me? I absolutely refuse to be attracted to this man. I refuse. I have been with countless beautiful men—men that looked like sculptures, they were so pretty. Men that…bathed regularly. So why, every time I leave my tent, are my eyes looking around for him?
It doesn’t make any sense.
He’s infuriating, and coarse, and I shouldn’t think of him at all. Yet, I do. That first night, he said a little loathing makes it better, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it ever since.
I can’t deny that there is something in the air that charges between us like lightning caught in the belly of a cloud. And I’m…curious. Curious about what would happen if we did clash together.
Maybe it could be a perfect, raging storm.
With all of this anger and worry churning around inside of me, the thought that I could take it out on him sounds sublime. That we could come together in a violent flare where I didn’t hold back. Where I wouldn’t have to be the perfect, most beautiful seductress. But that I could take instead of give, make him work to give me pleasure. He’s the only man I think could handle the real me like that, and that’s why I can’t stop thinking about him. He’s not a client.
“What’s your plan?” he asks, yanking me out of my wanton thoughts. “When we get to Fourth Kingdom.”
“To go away,” I say quickly, because I need to keep that goal in mind. I can’t let him or anyone else deter me from my plans. “I’m going to get the gold Auren promised me, and then I’ll leave for the first ship I can afford, to the farthest city I can go. Maybe to the deserts of Second Kingdom, since it’s about as opposite of Fifth Kingdom as I can get.”
He nods. “What will you do then?”
“I’ll do whatever I like. I’ll do nothing at all.”
“You don’t want to be a saddle anymore?”
My eyes tighten. “No.”
There’s a lull between us for a second where all I hear is the spitting fire and the gulp of wine as he takes another drink. “You could stay.”
I frown over at him. “What?”
“In Fourth Kingdom. You could stay.”
“Why would I stay there?”
“It only snows near the border at the mountains, so you wouldn’t have that in the capital. Plus, I’ll be there. So will Gildy.”
“And you think those are incentives?” I ask sharply.
He only shrugs. “Could be. If you let them be.”
I open my mouth to make some rude retort, but for some reason, I stop and shake my head. “You pointed out yourself that I’ve blackmailed and used Auren. Why would you even suggest I stay?”