I kiss her like I’ve never kissed before, because I have never kissed before, never considered the act of any value—not until this wrecking ball bulldozed through my life.
My lips feast on hers with the energy of an unsatiated beast until she’s gasping, until her body molds against mine. Until I can no longer decipher where she starts and I end.
The rain beats down on us like a witness of this moment.
The moment I decide that Annika Volkov won’t be able to escape me.
Not even if she wants to.
15
ANNIKA
Two weeks have passed since the day my life was flipped upside down.
Since the day I danced with Creighton in the rain and then he kissed me.
Or more like swallowed me whole and feasted on the remains until I thought I would pass out.
I never knew kissing could be a life-or-death experience, but Creighton is obviously making it his mission to revoke each and every one of my convictions.
Before him, I thought I was too sensitive to pain, but with every punishment, every slap of his hand, I’m beginning to think maybe I enjoy this depravity. Maybe my sensitiveness is one more reason why I like it so much.
Or maybe I enjoy what comes after—the controlling touches, the earth-shattering orgasm.
Even the tears.
Before him, I thought crying was a weakness. Now, whenever I cry, Creighton’s intensity burns a notch higher and he devours me whole.
He’s a sadist like that.
But he’s my sadist.
Over the past two weeks, he’s been introducing me to concepts I didn’t know about. Like gagging my mouth with my panties or his fingers while he spanks me—he totally enjoyed that one a bit too much. Or making me beg for an orgasm, edging me on and on until I become a mess.
But he’s also taught me to embrace the pain, to stop fighting it, and the moment I do, pleasure comes a lot more easily.
Partly because I’m becoming accustomed to his ministrations.
Partly because he’s the one behind the pain. Not anyone else—Creighton.
Though I stopped idolizing him a long time ago. Not only is he an imperfect human, but I also dislike him sometimes. Especially when he goes into his tyrant mode and refuses basic requests.
If I say no, I’m punished.
If I defy him, I’m also punished.
If he feels like I’m being a brat? Yeah, that one gets me in deep trouble.
Sometimes, it seems that his immaculate control is his way to keeping parts of him sealed inside.
That theory has been getting more plausible the further he deepens my punishment whenever he feels a rebellion building inside me.
After that kiss, I felt a wall between us had been demolished. The sad news is that I’m discovering more and more walls.
It’s like he’s keeping me an arm’s length away, far enough to not peek at his true nature.
Beyond the sadist who can’t feel pleasure without inflicting pain, I mean.
Which is why I’ve been pushing to get him out of his comfort zone. And that’s basically by demanding dates. Yes, I get punished for them, but it’s worth it.
At first, we often met up on the roof of the shelter and had lunch, but Jeremy loosened the security last week.
No more guards follow me around and I don’t have to look over my shoulder. I even go to hang out with the girls—still not at the stage where I spend nights at the dorm, though.
I had to put my foot down for my freedom, called Papa and Mom, and told them I was going to run away if they keep shackling me.
“That is, if you can run away,” is what Papa said matter-of-factly, but then he told Jeremy to grant me freedom.
Papa is all about tough love, I tell you.
But anyway, after gaining my long-awaited freedom, Creighton and I went out to see a movie, and he surprisingly didn’t fall asleep during it.
We also went jogging up the mountains, or more like he dragged me up. What? I don’t like hiking. That’s what it’s called. It’s not jogging, it’s damn hiking.
He just smiled and shook his head as I struggled, turned red, and demanded a break every ten minutes.
The discomfort may have been worth it since I got to see his smile. They’re as rare as special editions and have the ability to cause heart issues. So maybe it’s a blessing that he doesn’t show them often.
Besides, I don’t want to share them or him.
But I kind of have to today.
Ava, Cecily, and I have gone to the fight club. This is where REU and The King’s U students beat each other up. They even have a championship for it. It’s like a venting outlet for all the rivalries they have going on.