Cecily: I’ll be careful.
Landon: That’s my Ces. Stay safe. I mean it.
My Ces.
My. Ces.
It takes everything in me not to smash the phone to pieces. I delete the conversation and return it to her bedside table instead.
I was going to leave quietly, but now, I’m pissed off.
Pushing her hair away from her neck, I lean over and bite down so hard, I’m surprised I don’t draw blood.
But I will.
Soon.
And when I do, it’ll be much more brutal than this.
Cecily groans, then moans and hides her face in the pillow.
I cover her neck with her hair, take one of her mangas, and jump out the window.
Instead of going home, I choose to spend time blowing off steam.
On my bike.
I’ve already toured the whole island, but the subtle feeling of intoxication, asphyxiation, and complete irritation hasn’t disappeared.
By sunrise, I stop at the top of a hill, leaning against my bike.
But I don’t look at the view.
I don’t give a fuck about anything beautiful. In fact, I find nothing beautiful.
Everything pretty is destined to wither and die. To shrivel and vanish.
So why find anything beautiful in the first place? That’s setting oneself up for disappointment without even trying.
I fish out my phone to find a long conversation in the Heathens’ chat group.
Nikolai: Did that motherfucker just leave us hanging?
Gareth: He must’ve had something urgent to do. Jeremy isn’t the type to leave without a reason.
Nikolai: I say we vote him down. The audacity of that motherfucker. How dare he wake me up for nothing?
Killian: And who should we put in his place? You?
Nikolai: You shut it, Satan’s heir. And what’s wrong with me becoming a leader?
Killian: The same thing that’s wrong with putting a clown as the head of the CIA.
Nikolai: Did you just call me a clown?
Killian: I didn’t. You did.
Nikolai: I’m sorry, Gaz, but I’m killing your brother tonight. Please prepare the funeral and don’t tell Aunt Reina that I’m behind the hit. We’ll say the enemies got him.
Gareth: He’s your cousin. Do as you like.
Killian: Hilarious, big bro. Not. @Nikolai Sokolov if you’re going to lie, pick something believable. No one would bite at the fact that I have enemies.
Nikolai: Bullshit. You’re a devil in disguise.
Killian: Keyword being in disguise. Everyone loves me. The only one with enough enemies to make the Queen of England kick us off UK soil is you.
Nikolai: I don’t go out of my way to make enemies, but if they come knocking, I’ll be serving.
Gareth: Is that why you sent two people to the ER last week?
Nikolai: Not my fault they were flexing muscles they didn’t have. I did visit them and gave them fruit baskets and shit.
Killian: You sure you were in the hospital for them and not that erectile dysfunction you had?
Nikolai: The only erectile dysfunction is you. I told you it was a lack of fucking interest and showed you proof, motherfucker.
Killian: Must’ve forgotten. Didn’t happen. Feeling in the mood to tell others about it.
Nikolai: That’s it. You and me, outside. Now.
Gareth: Kill is messing with you because you might have talked to Glyn for more than five minutes and he hates that. And stop it, Kill, otherwise, he’ll flood the group chat with dick pics to prove he doesn’t have ED.
Nikolai: Taking one as we speak.
*Killian left the group chat*
Gareth left the group chat
Nikolai: Hey! Where did everyone go? Whatever. Here’s one in your honor when you come back, Jer. You know I don’t have ED, right?
I leave the group chat before I’m bombarded with his ‘proof.’
He’s extra like that.
Now, I need to figure out an excuse for why I left them during a strategy meeting that doesn’t include ‘I was a raging volcano because Cecily sent me a DM that was probably supposed to be for Landon.’
Fuck.
They’d have a field day if they found out I was interested in a girl. If I said it was only to keep her under surveillance, they would call bullshit.
They’ve known me all their lives and they know I don’t put forth effort to get my dick wet. I don’t spend weeks stalking and following and being the creep she labeled me to be.
That’s just not my modus operandi.
And for that reason, they’ll remain in the dark about my endeavors with the little fox. These strong feelings of interest will eventually wane.
My phone vibrates and I straighten before I answer. “Dad.”