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Gone with the Wind(321)

Author:Margaret Mitchell

uncomfortable. Even in her sorrow at Gerald's death, she did not forget the appearance she was making and she looked down at her body with distaste. Her figure was completely gone and her face and ankles were puffy. Heretofore she had not cared very much how she looked but now that she would see Ashley within the hour she cared greatly. Even in her heartbreak, she shrank from the thought of facing him when she was carrying another man's child. She loved him and he loved her, and this unwanted child now seemed to her a proof of infidelity to that love. But much as she disliked having him see her with the slenderness gone from her waist and the lightness from her step, it was something she could not escape now.

She patted her foot impatiently. Will should have met her. Of course, she could go over to Bullard's and inquire after him or ask someone there to drive her over to Tara, should she find he

had been unable to come. But she did not want to go to Bullard's. It was Saturday night and probably half the men of the County would be there. She did not want to display her condition in this poorly fitting black dress which accentuated rather than hid her figure. And she did not want to hear the kindly sympathy that would be poured out about Gerald. She did not want sympathy.

She was afraid she would cry if anyone even mentioned his name to her. And she wouldn't cry.

She knew if she once began it would be like the time she cried into the horse's mane, that dreadful night when Atlanta fell and Rhett had left her on the dark road outside the town, terrible tears that tore her heart and could not be stopped.

No, she wouldn't cry! She felt the lump in her throat rising again, as it had done so often since the news came, but crying wouldn't do any good. It would only confuse and weaken her.

Why, oh, why hadn't Will or Melanie or the girls written her that Gerald was ailing? She would have taken the first train to Tara to care for him, brought a doctor from Atlanta if necessary. The fools--all of them! Couldn't they manage anything without her? She couldn't be in two places at once and the good Lord knew she was doing her best for them all in Atlanta.

She twisted about on the keg, becoming nervous and fidgety as Will still did not come.

Where was he? Then she heard the scrunching of cinders on the railroad tracks behind her and, twisting her body, she saw Alex Fontaine crossing the tracks toward a wagon, a sack of oats on his shoulder.

"Good Lord! Isn't that you, Scarlett?" he cried, dropping the sack and running to take her hand, pleasure written all over his bitter, swarthy little face. "I'm so glad to see you. I saw Will over at the blacksmith's shop, getting the horse shod. The train was late and he thought he'd have time. Shall I run fetch him?"

"Yes, please, Alex," she said, smiling in spite of her sorrow. It was good to see a County face again.

"Oh--er--Scarlett," he began awkwardly, still holding her hand, I'm mighty sorry about your father."

"Thank you," she replied, wishing he had not said it. His words brought up Gerald's florid face and bellowing voice so clearly.

"If it's any comfort to you, Scarlett, we're mighty proud of him around here," Alex continued, dropping her hand. "He--well, we figure he died like a soldier and in a soldier's cause."

Now what did he mean by that, she thought confusedly. A soldier? Had someone shot

him? Had he gotten into a fight with the Scalawags as Tony had? But she mustn't hear more. She would cry if she talked about him and she mustn't cry, not until she was safely in the wagon with Will and out in the country where no stranger could see her. Will wouldn't matter. He was just like a brother.

"Alex, I don't want to talk about it," she said shortly.

"I don't blame you one bit, Scarlett," said Alex while the dark blood of anger flooded his face. "If it was my sister, I'd--well, Scarlett, I've never yet said a harsh word about any woman, but personally I think somebody ought to take a rawhide whip to Suellen."

What foolishness was he talking about now, she wondered. What had Suellen to do with it

all?

"Everybody around here feels the same way about her, I'm sorry to say. Will's the only one who takes up for her--and, of course, Miss Melanie, but she's a saint and won't see bad in anyone and--"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it," she said coldly but Alex did not seem rebuffed. He looked as though he understood her rudeness and that was annoying. She didn't want to hear bad

tidings about her own family from an outsider, didn't want him to know of her ignorance of what had happened. Why hadn't Will sent her the full details?

She wished Alex wouldn't look at her so hard. She felt that he realized her condition and it embarrassed her. But what Alex was thinking as he peered at her in the twilight was that her face had changed so completely he wondered how he had ever recognized her. Perhaps it was because she was going to have a baby. Women did look like the devil at such times. And, of course, she must be feeling badly about old man O'Hara. She had been his pet. But, no, the change was deeper than that. She really looked as if she had three square meals a day. And the hunted-animal look had partly gone from her eyes. Now, the eyes which had been fearful and desperate were hard. There was an air of command, assurance and determination about her, even when she