“Not today,” Nik says. For a moment, as she hovers by the front door, taking her leave, I notice that Nik looks aged. Like the past few days, telling Ammu and Abbu about her plans, have made her older than her years. Like they’ve taken something from her.
I wonder for a moment if I’ve contributed to it too. By focusing on myself instead of trying to help her. I wonder if I should tell her that I will—somehow—find a way to make Ammu and Abbu come around. If I should promise to keep my word this time.
Instead, I say, “Okay … see you, I guess.”
She holds my gaze for a long moment. Then, mumbling, “See you, Ishu,” she disappears out the door.
chapter eleven
hani
We should go on a date
Like … a fake one …
I wake up the next morning to Ishu’s message brightly glaring at me from my phone screen.
It’s six o’clock, a whole hour before I usually get up for school, so I’m a little cranky as I sit up and hit the video chat button on Instagram.
“Hey!” Ishu looks ready for the day, with her school uniform on and her hair perfectly brushed. “Good morning.” She smiles that half-pained smile, and it looks better than it did yesterday—so that’s … something.
“You know it’s six o’clock, right?” I try to fix my hair. “Like … dawn.”
Ishu’s smile widens. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. You have bed head.”
I click the camera off and crawl out of bed. “What do you mean we should go on a date? When?”
“Like … today? After school? People have to know that we’re together, right?”
“And how will they know if we go on a date?” I prop the phone up on the top of my sink as I begin brushing my teeth.
“I mean, we would have to show them. Photos and stuff.” She shrugs. “Isn’t that what people do?” She seems like she’s genuinely asking, like Ishu doesn’t really know what people do.
“Aa-gesh,” I say through a mouth full of toothpaste. Somehow, Ishu seems to understand me, even though she rolls her eyes.
“So …？ We could go to a fancy restaurant or something?”
“And you’re going to pay for me?” I ask.
“I said a fake date, Hum—Hani.” She catches herself at the last minute. “If I’m paying for it, then we’re going to McDonalds.”
I sigh. “Sure, we can go somewhere ‘fancy,’ but like … within a limit and with some vegetarian options, please.”
“Are you … vegetarian?” Ishu narrows her eyes, like vegetarianism is something unheard of.
“Not … exactly, no.” I don’t remember the last time anyone questioned me about this. I’ve gotten used to just saying I’m vegetarian because it’s much easier than having to have a discussion about halal and haram. When I mentioned it to Aisling, she started going on about animal cruelty and how religion wasn’t a good reason for killing animals in such cruel ways. She wouldn’t listen to me, no matter how many times I tried to explain that the way Muslims kill animals for halal meat is no more cruel than the way non-Muslims do it.
“I eat halal.” I finally spit it out. “That’s like—”
“I know what halal is,” Ishu says. “I’m Bengali, remember?”
“Yeah, but you’re not Muslim.”
“I’m also not ignorant,” Ishu retorts. “You could have just said we should go somewhere that’s halal.”
“There aren’t a lot of halal options in Dublin.”
Ishu shrugs. “I don’t mind … I don’t want us to go somewhere that you don’t like …”
“Right …”
“I mean,” Ishu adds. “I’m trying to look like a nice person. Caring that your girlfriend can eat the food at the restaurant you’re going to is like … compassionate, right?”
I have to bite back a smile. “I would definitely say that falls into the category of compassion.”
“Good!” Ishu smiles, sitting straight with her shoulders back like she’s proud of herself for managing this very minimal form of compassion all by herself. “So … I can research some places we can go and … I’ll see you at your locker at three o’clock. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Have you told Aditi Aunty yet?” I knew this was going to come up. I meant to tell Amma last night, after Ishu had left and she had curiosity plastered all over her face. Since she didn’t ask me any questions I decided to just leave it be for the moment. But if Ishu and I are going to make it official all over our social media profiles, then I definitely need to tell Amma before that happens.