But I’m not supposed to feel like that around her. We’re just pretending, and maybe she’s too good at that and I just haven’t realized.
So, instead of focusing on Ishu, my friends’ betrayals, and all of my spiraling thoughts, I sit down with my Qur’an. The one thing that actually helps me center myself.
“Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem.” I begin.
The buzzing of my phone distracts me from the Qur’an after more than an hour has passed. As soon as I pick up the phone, all of the peace and calmness I had been feeling immediately dissipates.
Can we meet up? Dundrum?
The text is from Aisling in our three-way group chat. It doesn’t spell good news.
Sure, when?
The dots indicating Aisling is typing appear almost instantly. A moment later her message appears:
30 mins?
Dee’s reply comes in immediately: perfect, see you then
I can hardly leave them hanging. So I type back as well: see you.
I take one last longing look at my Qur’an. I was in the midst of reading surah kaf. I place the ribbon on the page to mark my place before shutting the book with a thud.
Mumbling an Ameen under my breath, I unwrap my headscarf and throw on a pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt. My hair is kind of a mess—hijab head—and I have no makeup on. But it’ll have to do if I want to be on time.
When I get to our usual meeting place at Dundrum—the fountain at the front of the shopping center—Aisling and Dee are already there.
They’re huddled together, deep in conversation. The sight of them makes my stomach drop and for some reason, all I want is Ishu by my side.
“Hey, guys!” I paste the brightest smile I can manage on my lips as I approach them. “What’s up?”
“Hey, Maira!” Dee’s voice is too chipper. Somehow, she’s wearing a full face of makeup. So is Aisling, actually. And they’re both dressed nicely. I wonder for a moment if they came here together—if they had been planning this. “You left the party pretty early yesterday.”
“Yeah …” I say, unsure of how to follow it up. The thing is, I’ve never quite been good at confrontations. And I definitely don’t want to confront Dee and Aisling. Especially not like this: two against one with everyone at Dundrum around us. It’s too public. Too humiliating. So should I just ignore everything that happened at the party? Pretend that they had no part in it at all? That they didn’t make me feel horrible?
“Come, sit.” Aisling pats the empty space beside her, and I gingerly prop myself up beside her.
“So … why did you leave so early?” Dee presses, leaning forward as if to hear better.
I shrug. “I was just … it was crowded and loud?”
It’s obviously not the answer they were looking for because Aisling presses her lips into a thin line.
“Look … I know you have a new girlfriend now or whatever,” Aisling says. “But that’s not a good reason to abandon your friends. We have boyfriends and we make time for you. We would never abandon you like that on your birthday.”
I bite my lip to stop myself from replying how I really want to: with the truth about how they treated me. But I don’t. Instead, I just nod my head and say, “Yeah, I’m sorry. Ishu—Ishita … isn’t really a party person.” The words out of my lips make my stomach clench.
Aisling rolls her eyes. “Why does that not surprise me?”
Dee sighs. “What do you even like about Ishita? Like … you two seem pretty different from each other. You know you don’t have to be with her just because you guys are both from Bangladesh.”
I shake my head. “Ishita isn’t even from Bangladesh. She’s Indian. And … she’s … nice and smart and … she … makes me feel good.”
“Ew, like in a sexual way?” Aisling scrunches up her nose.
“Are you even allowed to do that with her?” Dee asks. “I mean, because you’re Muslim and all?”
I feel a blush of both embarrassment and rage crawl up my skin.
“No, not in a sexual way.” I snap. “She’s just …” I sigh.
“If you guys actually gave her a chance, you would like her. I’m sure of it,” I say even though I’m definitely not sure of it. Actually, I’m kind of sure of the exact opposite. Though maybe with some training I can get Ishu to be the kind of person that Aisling and Dee will like.
“I don’t know …” Aisling shakes her head like she wants to give up even before she’s given Ishu a chance.