Quietly as possible, I slip into my apartment and remove my high heels, dangling them from a fingertip. The sun is barely up, so I should be able to escape an interrogation from Shayna. If I can just make it to my room without encountering my roommate, I will be four for four in terms of avoiding people, considering I crept out of the room at the Conrad an hour ago without waking a single member of my fan club.
I have to admit, the three of them looked insanely sexy in repose, disheveled and unshaven in their wrinkled tuxedos. There was definitely a few moments of hesitation where I considered waking up Gabe by licking his exposed muscles and giving him another chance to prove his stamina. There is something about helping him build back endurance after a long dry spell that makes me feel ticklish in places that shall remain unnamed.
And Tobias…
Without his cocky smirk, he resembles more of an angel than a devil. Facial muscles slack, two hands tucked under his head. Facing me, as if maybe he fell asleep watching me. Might as well admit it, I’m starting to soften toward him, especially after he tried to moderate his cutting remark to Gabe last night, not to mention the revelations about his former manager. Maybe I’m not softening completely, but I am growing more anxious to know about him. And the attraction. Unfortunately, it builds.
Then there’s Banks. I got the feeling he wasn’t actually sleeping when I left the hotel room. No, some intuition tells me he knew the second I woke up. I have a foggy memory of us both waking up in the middle of the night and him kissing and stroking me back to sleep. Like it was natural and we’d done it for years. I’m painfully attracted to Banks, but also comfortable with him, as I am with Gabe, while Tobias makes me feel uncomfortable. Itchy.
Sweaty.
I’m almost to my room when there’s a creak across the kitchen and Shayna steps out of her room, crossing her arms over her chest. “No.” She waves a hand at the couch. “You need to sit down and tell me what’s going on.”
My excuse is locked and loaded. “I stayed the night at a friend’s house.”
She snorts. “You don’t have friends.”
I wince. Should have thought that one through a little better. “Wow, you’re really going to call me out like that?”
For a beat, she pretends to think about it. “Yes. I am.”
Rolling my eyes, I cross to the couch and flop down, tucking the manila envelope under my thigh. She takes her time meandering over to me, propping her butt on the table that serves as a television stand. “Yesterday, you got three gifts in the mail. Sauteed that eggplant last night with some garlic, by the way. Very tasty.”
My mouth drops open. “What happened to the separate food rule?”
“You weren’t going to eat it,” she claps back, as if she had that rebuttal locked and loaded. “You only eat things that require a bowl. Soup, cereal, noodles…”
“Fine. I guess that tracks.”
“Also, you didn’t leave the address where you were going on the freezer. We both broke a rule, so we’re even.”
“I never follow that rule.”
“You don’t go out, that’s why. No matter how often I invite you.”
“Is this going to get emotional, because I’m…” I scrub my eyes with the heels of my hands, not caring what it does to my already tragic makeup. “I’m drained.”
“Why?”
My hands fall into my lap. “Why do you care?”
“Because I like you. You’re funny. You’re driven. You remind me of me before I started going to therapy.” She shrugs a shoulder. “I want to be your friend. Deal with it.”
“This conversation makes me want to jump out the window.”
“Me too.”
“Ooh. Even after therapy?”
“Therapy is an ongoing project. It doesn’t fix you.”
I exhale toward the ceiling and leave my head there. For some reason, my neck is sore from last night and not having to hold my head up feels amazing. Also, when I’m not looking directly at Shayna, the act of opening up is slightly less repugnant. “Look, it’s not you. It’s me.”
“I know.”
I give her a dry look, then go back to staring at the ceiling.
Shayna chuckles. “Tell me where you were last night and I’ll leave you alone.”
“I don’t want to tell you. It’s like…” I shake my head, vision from the hotel room vivid, playing out in the front of my mind, stealing a considerable amount of my breath. “Something no one would understand unless they were in this exact situation.”