This is too big. Depending on people.
It was one thing to make the independent decision to venture into this quad, but relying on them is a whole other story. I’m not there yet. I’m not there. I’m scared of pressing down on something too hard when I haven’t tested the stability. I’m scared, period. And yet. I think…I might be allowing myself to freak out a little bit so they can use their potency to calm me down.
Does that even make sense?
“This relationship is moving too fast,” I heave.
“No, it’s not,” Gabe says in my ear. Where did he come from?
Two of them are touching me now. If Tobias completes the circle, I’m screwed. I’ll give in and let them play my heroes. I’ll stay here and possibly put them in harm’s way. Letting them share this mess with me would be the ultimate act of selfishness. With that in mind, I whirl free of Gabe and Banks, just as Tobias is about to lock me into a four-way embrace.
“It is moving fast,” Banks agrees. “I think I speak for the three of us when I say, we’d be happy with it moving even faster. But we must give Elise time to catch up.”
“There’s no better time to think than when you’re tied to a bed rail,” Tobias offers.
“A better use of the rope might be strangling you,” I say sweetly.
They’re literally following me slowly around the room while I back around furniture and try to avoid tripping over discarded boots and remote controls. “Look, I’ll keep in contact with you guys and when the situation blows over, we’ll—”
Banks shakes his head. “No.”
“You’re pushing us away, Elise.”
“Rope.”
I snatch a throw pillow up off the couch and launch it at Tobias’s head. He ducks, gracefully, avoiding the projectile. But he doesn’t anticipate me hurling another one immediately afterward and this one hits him square in the forehead.
He’s shocked and miffed, and I can’t help it, I start to laugh. In my distraction, I trip backward over a remote and land on my ass near the edge of the rug. Hitting the ground without warning jars me into laughing even harder, despite the fact that all three of them are surrounding me now, worriedly asking if I’m all right and checking for injuries.
“I’m fine,” I assure them, slapping numerous hands away. “You should be checking on Tobias’s ego.”
“It’s in shambles since meeting you, thank you very much,” Tobias clips, but he’s looking down at me and battling a smile. “But if it makes you happy, you can grind it to dust.”
I bat my eyelashes at him. “It really does.”
He goes right on smiling, but there’s a slight hardening of the planes of his face. “Are you done threatening to leave, Elise?”
My smile drops. “It’s not a threat. It’s not an irrational decision, either. These men trashed my apartment, and I don’t want to involve any of you in a situation that could get worse before it gets better. Gabe, Jameson Crouch is your boss. Being involved with me might even jeopardize your job.”
“Better than jeopardizing your safety, Elise,” Gabe says gruffly.
Banks crouches down in front of me. “At the risk of replacing Tobias as your least favorite—”
“Hey!” Tobias complains.
“Elise.” Banks sighs, shakes his head. “You’re looking for any excuse to get rid of us. The urge to protect yourself from pain isn’t going to go away overnight. You’re searching for an escape hatch because you’re afraid of going down with the whole submarine.”
“Insert torpedo dick joke here,” Tobias murmurs.
Banks studies my face, a pulse tapping in his temple.
The longer he looks at me, the more exposed I feel.
“Are you just the coach? Or do you double as the team psychologist?” I mutter.
His lips tilt at one end, but his eyes remain as intense as ever. “You know I’m all about giving you choices and making sure we don’t overstep…” Banks reaches out and frames my jaw in his hand, tilting my face up. “But so help me God, you are not going anywhere without us until this shit is over. Is that clear?”
Oh…my God.
I don’t have the words to describe what happens inside of me in that moment.
Until now, I thought I was craving the sense of control these three men give me, but that hint of dominance from Banks has riddled me with need. Maybe the circle of four is big enough, powerful enough to hold more than one kind of pleasure. More than one kind of escape. Or maybe I’m still in control after all, because Banks is eye level with me, waiting for my response, even as his hand slips down to my throat and squeezes lightly, eliciting soft groans from Tobias and Gabe. They’re waiting for me to say yes to being owned. Yes, to owning them. I’m still holding the reins, but they want to take them for a while.