Even in the cold rain, he’s as hard as a fucking rock.
"You're going to get me killed!" I argue. "Because you had to be sick and torture them so badly, it made national news!"
“You want to know what’s fucking sick, Addie? Those men you’re so upset about dying are the same men that hurt, rape, and torture innocent fucking children and get off on it. They thrive off of it. Do you think any amount of punishment in this world will ever make up for even one child they tortured and killed?”
I snap my mouth shut, tears burning my retinas.
“And what’s worse is that despite claiming you as my own, the Society had already marked you before I even came into the picture. Which means you are in danger, whether he’s dead or not. Did you know he tried to have you kidnapped at Satan's Affair? While you were running through Annie's Playhouse, he was in the middle of siccing his dogs to kidnap you. And I made sure that didn’t fucking happen, Addie.
“If you thought you had any fucking chance of getting rid of me, get it out of your head. You need my protection more than you need my cock, but I fully intend on giving you both.”
My eyes widen and my heart drops. The Society has been targeting me? Jesus Christ, what the fuck did I do in my past life to deserve this shit?
I was in so much danger and never realized it. Never even felt it looming nearby.
Because the man pinning me to the ground kept me safe and protected so I could enjoy my night.
My lip trembles as he continues. “He was an evil man, Addie. And one of the worst things he ever did was put you in danger. The worst thing I ever did was make it so easy for him to find you.”
The tables have turned. Where I once accused Zade of failing to keep me hidden from Mark, I am now confessing the harsh truth. He never really stood a chance against fate.
“You couldn’t have stopped him from noticing me,” I admit on a soft whisper.
“Maybe not, but I brought you further into his sight. I had hoped claiming you would save you, but Mark was always going to turn you in. And every motherfucker who even comes within a mile of your house is going to have my knife in their throats.
“I have never pretended to be a good person. But what I did do was create my own fucking morals to live by. I will keep killing every deranged individual who resides on this goddamn planet if it means children don’t have to die, and you don't have to live in danger.”
My lip wobbles, and all of the fight I had burning inside of me bleeds out in one breath.
I have nothing to say. No argument.
I've been holding so tightly onto the notion that all murder is wrong, but I need to let that go. Because Zade is right, whether he came into my life or not, I would always end up in danger. And I can't get upset every time he kills someone who meant me harm.
If that makes me selfish, then I don't care anymore.
Whether I like it or not… Zade isn't going anywhere. And it's far more exhausting holding onto morals that do nothing but fight against the one thing keeping me safe.
I study his face, needing to ask one last question.
“Have you killed an innocent person?”
“What's your definition of innocent?” he questions, leaning in close until his minty breath skates over my cold, wet face. “People like Archie? Who have hurt others, but there was always a chance of redemption, right?”
I swallow, opening my mouth to respond, but he leans closer, his lips mere centimeters away from mine. The words die on my tongue while his flicks out, licking a droplet off my lip. The small touch should be insignificant, like a butterfly landing on your finger. But instead, it felt like a lightning bolt traveling down my spine and straight to my core.
“Do you think there’s redemption for me?” he whispers, the tenor of his voice dark and sinful.
I lick my lips, searching for the words before I ask, “Do you want there to be?”
The rest of his body molds into mine, creating a dangerous cyclone of fire and ice inside of me. The frozen ground and the raging heat of his body war with each other, while I try to fight past the delirium his close proximity is causing.
He grinds his pelvis into mine, eliciting a sharp pleasure from between my legs. Without conscious thought, my back arches and a moan slips free.
“If my redemption resides somewhere within you, then I will spend the rest of my life searching for it inside of you.” He flexes his hips again, wringing another breathless moan from my lips. “I will fill every inch of you, Adeline. And in time, my redemption will become your salvation.”