A ringing silence fell. Raymond tried to register what he had heard, but he seemed to be temporarily incapable of coherence. He stared out the window at what he thought must be the university across the street. Watched people coming and going from its grounds.
Envied them.
When a thought finally came through, it was only a repeat of this: I have to be the one to tell her.
“That could so have been you,” Kate said, touching Luis’s arm tenderly.
Luis paid her no mind. He seemed embarrassed by the fact that she was thinking of Luis Manuel Velez in that moment. Not sparing a thought for Luis Miguel Velez and the people who had hoped to find him alive.
“I’m sorry,” Luis said to Raymond. “I know it’s bad. I know it’s a lot to take in.”
“If this happened, like, almost a month ago,” Raymond said, “why wasn’t it in the paper back then?”
“Maybe it was. Maybe it was in there on a weekday, and I missed it. I don’t know.”
“But I tried to find an obituary or something for him, and I never found it.”
“Oh. Maybe not, then. I think they ran a story about it yesterday because—miracle of miracles—they decided to bring charges against the woman. You know. The shooter.”
“Good,” Raymond said.
“That’s what I think,” Luis added.
Then nobody seemed to know what else to say.
“What time is it?” Raymond asked him.
Luis was wearing a watch, but his jacket sleeve covered it.
“A minute or two after four.”
“Any chance either one of you has a cell phone I could use?”
Luis produced one from his jacket pocket and set it on the table in front of Raymond.
Raymond thanked him and picked it up. Dialed his home number.
He felt immensely relieved when the call went to voicemail.
“Hi, Mom,” he said. “It’s me. I’m going to be late again. Just letting you know.”
Raymond stood in front of the door of Luis M. Velez on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. For the fourth time.
He knocked on the door. But this time he really didn’t expect an answer. He had to try, though.
He got what he’d been expecting: nothing.
He turned around and pulled off his backpack. Leaned back against the door and slid down until he was sitting on the carpet in front of Luis’s door.
The Luis.
It struck him that the Luis Project was over. He had been so looking forward to that day—when he could forever stop knocking on doors and talking to strangers. Now he wished it wasn’t over. Because what he had just heard, well . . . he would do nearly anything to live in a land where he still did not know it.
He took a spiral notebook of lined paper out of his backpack. Dug around for a pen but found only a pencil.
He braced the notebook on his knees and began to write a note. For Luis’s wife, maybe. For whoever might get it.
Dear Luis Velez’s family,
You don’t know me, but my name is Raymond Jaffe. I’m friends with Millie G, the lady Luis used to help for so long. I only just found out today, just now, what happened. I’ve been looking for Luis, because Mrs. G is worried sick about him, but now I guess I’m just looking for whatever family he left behind. Here’s my phone number, if you want to call me. If you do, I’ll really appreciate it. I have to be the one to tell Mrs. G, and I really hate that. I’m dreading that.
Then he stopped writing and realized he might be getting off track. What did Luis’s widow care that he had to break the bad news to someone? That was a pathetically small problem by her standards.
He looked up to see a woman standing outside her apartment door, right across the hall. Staring down at him. A large middle-aged black woman with beautifully braided hair and a loose, flowing muumuu of a housedress in a wild print.
“May I help you?” Her voice was deep and comfortable.
“Oh,” he said. “I was just leaving a note for . . . Luis’s wife.”
“Did you know Luis?”
“No. But I was looking for him for someone. Someone who was really worried about him because she didn’t know where he’d gone.”
“Not Millie!”
“Yes! Yes, that’s who I was trying to help by finding him!”
Raymond struggled to his feet, pushing his back against the door for support.
“Oh, Isabel will be so happy! She wanted so badly to be able to talk to Millie. To let her know what happened. But she didn’t know where Millie lived, and she couldn’t remember her last name exactly. And she didn’t have her phone number because Luis never backed up his phone.”