What is he doing?
The ball goes to Joe this time and he finally sets the ball perfectly at the net for me. Little do they know, I was the best outside hitter on my team.
I spike it directly between Topher and Walker. When it hits the sand and we get a point, Samson jumps out of the chair.
“Yes!” he yells. “More of that, Beyah!”
My mouth falls open when it hits me. Samson remembered what I told him—that no one has ever come to any of my games.
He came out here to cheer for me.
“Who the hell is that dude?” Joe says, staring at Samson.
Samson climbs up into the chair and starts chanting. “Beyah! Beyah!”
It might possibly be the cheesiest thing I’ve ever seen. One guy, alone in an invisible audience, yelling at the top of his lungs for a girl he knows has never been yelled for.
It’s the most touching thing anyone has ever done for me.
Topher serves the ball and I’m shocked I’m able to hit it back through the cloud of tears in my eyes.
Fucking emotions. I’m blaming this moment on the birth control, too.
For a long stretch of time, Samson doesn’t shut up. I think he’s annoying the three guys I’m playing with, but I’m not sure I’ve ever smiled this much in my life. I smile through all the falls and all the points and all the times I get the breath knocked out of me. I smile because I’ve never enjoyed a game of volleyball this much. I smile, because Samson has made me realize just how much I miss it. I’m buying a volleyball today. I need to start practicing again.
Not that I’m as terrible as Joe. He’s doing his best, but I’m single-handedly keeping us in this game. At one point, he’s so out of breath, he just steps aside and leaves me to do all the work for a good thirty seconds.
I’m somehow miraculously one point ahead when the game almost reaches the final point. If I can get one more, I win.
I notice Samson is quiet as I lift the ball to serve it. He’s staring intently at me, like he’s really into this. All he does is give me the smallest of smiles and a cheesy thumbs up and I suck in a breath, serve the ball and pray it hits the sand on the other side of the net.
It’s short. Both Topher and Walker dive for it, but I know neither will be able to reach it. ACE! When the ball falls to the sand with a thud, Samson jumps out of his chair. “You did it!”
I stand here in shock.
I did it. I would say we did it, but Joe really wasn’t a lot of help. I high-five him and then receive the handshakes the other two offer me.
“You’re really good,” Topher says. “Want to go another round?”
I glance over at Samson and shake my head. I work to catch my breath and say, “Not tonight. But I’m around if you guys come back tomorrow.”
I wave goodbye to them and then run over to Samson. He meets me with the biggest smile on his face. I throw my arms around his neck and he picks me up and swings me around. When my feet are back on the sand, he doesn’t release his hold on me.
“You’re a fucking legend,” he says. He wipes dirt from my face. “A filthy legend.”
I laugh and Samson pulls me to him. He presses his cheek to the top of my head and squeezes me.
I realize at the same time he does what’s happening between us. I can feel his whole body take a pause, like he’s not sure if he should release me or hold me tighter.
My face is pressed against his shirt.
I pull my arms from around Samson’s neck and slip them around his waist. I close my eyes, absorbed in the closeness of him.
I feel his own grip tighten around me, and he lets out a sigh as he runs a hand down my back. He adjusts himself just a little so that I somehow fit against him even better.
And then we just stand this way while the world moves around us. Him holding me. Me allowing it.
Me wanting it.
I had no idea how good it would feel. Any of this. All the moments I spend with him are charged and exciting and I feel them right in the center of my chest. It’s like he wakes up a part of me that’s been asleep for nineteen years. I appreciate so many things I didn’t think I would ever be able to appreciate.
I like being kissed by someone who actually respects me. I love that he’s so proud of me, he picked me up and swung me around. He went out of his way to scream like an idiot on the sidelines of a silly beach volleyball game just to make me feel good.
At some point during this hug, I started crying. It’s not a noticeable cry, but I can feel the wetness sliding down my cheeks.
I honestly don’t feel like we’re close enough, even though we can’t possibly get any closer. I want to melt into him. Become a piece of him. I want to see if I make the inside of his chest feel as alive as he makes mine.