“Yeah. I just wanted to…” How am I supposed to word this? “Thank you for what you guys did yesterday. I’m really sorry about your friend.”
“People die,” Faith says roughly. “He knew what he was getting into when he joined.” Her throat tenses as she turns back to the coffee, watching it brew. “You want some? This is for Aisha, but I think I made too much. She’ll be pissed if I waste it.”
“I’ll try it.”
Faith raises an eyebrow. “You’ve never had coffee before?”
“No? Should I have?”
“Hmm. Maybe not. You’re, like, what? Fourteen?”
Fourteen was probably just her being polite. I could be mistaken for twelve on a bad day. Dad used to say my baby face would serve me well when I grew up, so I consider it a waste. “Sixteen, actually.”
“I’m teasing,” Faith says. “Give it a shot.”
When the coffee’s done, she gives me a swallow’s worth in a mug. It smells amazing, but it’s so dark, it’s almost black. I remember it being a nice, warm brown in movies.
I carefully pull down my mask and bring it to my lips.
Oh no. I cough and splutter. A few heads turn. “This tastes like dirt!”
For the first time, Faith manages a laugh and takes a handful of brightly colored sugar packets from the drawer beside me. There aren’t many left. “Yeah, it’s awful. That’s why you don’t drink it plain. You want sugar? I think we can spare some.”
“No, thank you. I think you’ve put me off it forever.”
“More for the rest of us. Actually, have you seen Aisha? I don’t want this to get cold…”
Faith leans against the wall to wait, and I start scrubbing the counters. It’s relaxing: sweeping, cleaning up, doing things with my hands. In New Nazareth, it never mattered that I was the only child of Reverend Mother Woodside—I still had to do chores like everybody else. There’s something about menial work that lets your brain go quiet, something satisfying in the way your arms and feet ache afterward. Something to be proud of in looking across a clean room and knowing you’ve done your part.
Even then, I’m watching Faith from the corner of my eye, the shaved stubble of her head and the scars above her low-cut tank top. That kind of outfit would get her torn to pieces in New Nazareth. There’s so much freedom here. And so many different kinds of people too. I swear I’ve seen more nonwhite faces than white. I’ve spent the past five years of my life looking at so many shades of white people that I’ve been doing double takes, then gluing my eyes to my shoes, because that’s rude.
What gets me most of all, though, is that everybody here is a nonbeliever. All of them. Not a single one believes in the Angelic Movement. Not a single one has given themselves to God in the exact way the Angels demand it. Every person is someone I’ve been taught to hate since I first stepped foot in New Nazareth. I checked Nick and Erin for weapons and demanded they back away, I’ve held tension in my shoulders so hard for the past few hours that they hurt—and the ALC has done nothing but offer me coffee and a place to sleep.
I’m an asshole. Thanks for the brain rot, Mom.
Truth is, I’m the person they should be worried about, not the other way around. I can’t let anyone but Nick and Erin know what I used to be, because they’ll want me dead, and I won’t blame them. I have to figure out the rules for the ALC the way I figured out the rules for New Nazareth.
Rule one: Be careful with religion. Even if Faith is wearing cross earrings. Even if her name is Faith.
I really want to ask about the earrings. They’re the first crosses I’ve seen in days besides the ones carved into the dead. After a second of scrubbing a stain off the countertop, I decide my best course of action is not to ask at all, but to point it out, no judgment implied.