Mario presses the bear to his chest, heart to heart. “Arthur, you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”
“I’m . . . glad things are working out for you two,” I say to Mario.
But my eyes drift to Ben.
Chapter Eleven
Ben
Saturday, May 23
It’s been raining all day.
I swore Mario’s flight was going to be canceled this morning, but the plane was able to make it out of New York before things got really bad. Still, I was tracking his flight throughout my shift this morning to make sure everything was okay. Before I could check a sixth time, I got a text from him letting me know that he’d landed safely and was already on his way to meet with his Tío Carlos. I liked that he wrote to me. He didn’t have to, but he did. That put me in a pretty great mood for the rest of my shift.
Up until Dylan texted to cancel on our plans to eat Taco Bell and talk about everything that happened at Dave & Buster’s that we couldn’t talk about in front of Mario and Arthur. I don’t know why he’s treating the rain like it’s acid, but I’ll let him have his cozy night in with Samantha. I get how rare it is for them to see each other since they live in the same college dorm room, are bouncing back and forth between their respective families’ homes, and are still inseparable while out and about in the city.
Totally get it . . .
I’m in my room working on The Wicked Wizard War rewrites, really in my head over some feedback from my teacher about my early pages. Mrs. García thinks the story would benefit from more backstory about Ben-Jamin, but other early readers thought I was info-dumping too much. I’m torn about whose critique to pay more attention to. Yes, she’s my teacher and has given me so many helpful tips—I wouldn’t have been able to fix my plot’s bridge without her. But Mario and others felt Ben-Jamin’s origins were slowing down the story and didn’t ultimately serve the central plot.
It’s times like this when I don’t even want to deal with this book. Like I’ll never know how to make it everything everyone wants it to be. Like it’ll never be good enough for people.
But I’ve already put so much time into it that I want to cross the finish line. I still remember how amazing it felt to complete the very first draft, and to upload the final chapter on Wattpad. But the book has also changed so much—it changes as my life does. Hudsonien used to be a major relationship for Ben-Jamin, but as I’ve aged up the characters, Hudsonien is more backstory than main plot. The same goes for King Arturo, who doesn’t embark on epic journeys with Ben-Jamin anymore. King Arturo is still a pivotal character since he needs assistance tracking down a jeweled scepter as blue as his eyes and Ben-Jamin is the wizard for the job. I’ve gotten rid of all the kissing though—it felt weird writing about that since I’m no longer kissing his namesake.
Feels even weirder making Mario read about it.
I can’t thank Mario enough for how cool he was about the hangout. There’s no way Hudson could’ve gone the entire night without flipping out, and Arthur would’ve been really insecure. And I don’t blame them. But it feels nice that as I’m building something with Mario, my friendship with my ex-boyfriend won’t be an obstacle.
I need to hear his voice. See his face.
But I can’t right now.
I use the Forest app when I’m writing to measure how many minutes I’m actively working and to stay focused. Depending on how much time I spend on the app, I grow more trees for my forest. If I click out to check Instagram or call a cute guy, a tree dies. I’m trying really hard to let the ambient sounds of ocean waves keep my imagination afloat, but right now I would personally go outside with an ax and chop down a tree to call Mario. I’m at the start of this chapter where I’m thinking about writing Mario in as the new love interest—Mars E. Octavio, a swordsman with a charming smile and powers to understand any language, human or beast.
I exit the app—lo siento, dead tree—and try Mario on FaceTime. I smile immediately when he answers.
“Well, well,” Mario says. “Your timing is perfection.”
“Really?”
Mario smiles. He’s wearing those blue overalls that he painted Saturn on with rainbow rings. He holds up a bag of groceries. “Carlos sent me to the store because there’s been a change of plans tonight. There’s someone he wants me to meet.”
Immediately, my heart sinks. Is his uncle introducing him to some other guy?
“Oh, cool. Who?”