Mikey raises his eyebrows. “I don’t want to make you see the scary whale.”
“I would do it. Mikey Mouse, I would do it for you.”
He laughs and then exhales, his shoulders rising and then falling. A moment later, he grabs my hand. I look up at him, startled. We just passed Columbus Avenue, it’s barely sunset, and we’re surrounded by people. Which doesn’t bother me in the slightest—but Mikey?
He squeezes the tips of my fingers. “This okay?”
“Yeah. God. Of course.” I study his profile. “I just. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“I don’t.” He draws in a big shaky breath.
“That didn’t sound comfortable.”
Mikey laughs. “No, I’m good. Sorry. Yeah.”
We walk in silence for a moment, our hands still twined together. When we reach Amsterdam Avenue, I nudge him. “That’s my warm-cookie bakery,” I say, pointing to Levain.
“Is that where we’re meeting Ben?”
“Nope. Almost there, though. We’re going to be pretty early.”
He nods quickly, lips pressed together.
“Don’t be nervous!” I laugh a little, tugging him closer. “I promise he’s not scary. You’re going to like him.”
“I know,” Mikey says. “That’s not—yeah. I’m fine.”
“Are you ready to be more than fine?” I tilt my chin. “End of the block, on the right.”
Mikey stares down the street, squinting, and his whole face lights up the moment he sees it. “You’re joking.”
Emack & Bolio’s in white capital letters against a basic green awning. I don’t think I’d have even noticed it if Mikey hadn’t drilled the name into my head. It’s his favorite ice cream place in Boston. His sister and brother-in-law got engaged there, and it’s also where Mikey came out to his brother. When we started talking about summer in Boston, it was the first thing he mentioned.
“I had no idea this was here.” He looks amazed.
We’re almost thirty minutes early, so we settle onto a bench near the front of the shop. Mikey’s gone back to being quiet, and I can’t quite get my head around his mood tonight. I don’t think he’s still upset about Ben. I mean, a minute ago, he was practically giddy over the Emack & Bolio’s reveal—not to mention the unprecedented public hand-holding on the way here. But somehow our hands came apart in the transition from sidewalk to bench, and Mikey definitely made a point to leave a few inches of space between us.
Now he keeps stealing glances at me, almost like we’re strangers checking each other out at a dorm party. But every time I try to catch his gaze, he looks abruptly away.
“Mikey Mouse,” I say finally. “I can’t tell if you’re okay.”
“I love you,” he blurts.
I just stare at him, stunned.
“God. Sorry, I’m—” He exhales. “I’ve been working up the nerve the whole way here. I feel so—”
“Oh my God. Mikey. Don’t be—don’t be sorry, okay?” I press my hand to my chest, like it will help me catch my breath. I can hardly tell my thoughts apart from my heartbeats. He loves me. Loves me. Loves. Me. Mikey, who turns red whenever I kiss him. Mikey, whose Valentine’s Day gift was filling my car with gas. Mikey, who took the train in from Boston to see me. Mikey loves me.
My brain can’t hold the thought.
He closes his eyes and opens them again—and suddenly his face sort of freezes.
“I think Ben’s here,” he says softly.
I shake my head. “No way. He’s never early. Ever—” But the word dies on my tongue.
Because there’s a boy walking down Amsterdam Avenue wearing jeans and a dark fitted T-shirt, and it’s unmistakably Ben Alejo. He looks up from his phone, breaking into a smile when he sees us.
He’s twenty minutes early. “Mikey—”
“It’s okay. Seriously.” He starts to stand, but I grab his hand first and squeeze it.
“We’ll talk later,” I say, and it comes out slightly choked. “To be continued, okay?”
He nods wordlessly and adjusts his glasses, and it’s such a familiar Mikey gesture, it makes my throat hurt. When I stand, my legs feel like rubber. Like Gumby.
People do this, right? Boyfriends and friends are supposed to meet. It’s the most normal thing in the world. So why does it feel like I’m trying to squeeze two universes into one solar system? What are my lines here? How do I even phrase the introductions? Guy I lost my virginity to, meet the guy who just said I love you for the first time literally two seconds ago.