I can’t help but wonder if there’s something he’s not saying. And of course he doesn’t owe me a reaction. He’s allowed to keep things to himself if he wants to. But the thing is, this is exactly how it started last winter. This is how Arthur and I lost each other. And when I think about losing Arthur again . . .
Maybe it’s pointless. Maybe I should push him away now so I can get that loss over with already.
Okay, wow, I’m overthinking this. He’s probably just busy at work, or being really extra about the wording of a joke, because it’s Arthur, and that’s who he is. And it’s not a question. We’re going to stay in touch, no matter what time zone I’m in. I’ll send messages before I go to sleep, and by the time I wake up there will probably be half a dozen texts from Arthur describing everything about his morning from choosing outfits and what he and Mikey are up to. Then I’ll walk him through my day with Mario.
Maybe Arthur-and-Ben-as-friends is the best us all along.
I send a quick text back: Going in. Wish me luck. Send rescue texts in case I need an out.
Aye, aye, captain, he writes.
I walk into Dream & Bean, and it feels like a walk down memory lane. Except this feels nothing like the time Dylan and I discovered Arthur’s poster with my photo on the wall here. Dylan is sitting with Samantha in the corner table. His hands are folded and he makes eye contact with me before staring up at the ceiling like he didn’t see me.
I roll my eyes.
I walk over to Samantha’s side and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Hey. How are you?”
“Tired,” she says. “Long night.”
“Everything okay?”
“Some family stuff. I don’t really want to talk about it right now.”
“No worries. I hope everything gets better.” I turn to Dylan. “Hey, D.”
Dylan looks away.
I don’t even bother pulling out a chair yet. “Dude, you—I quote—‘summoned’ me here to talk. Are you really going to not talk?”
“He will talk,” Samantha says.
“Through you?”
“What do you think?”
“I think we’re too old for this.”
Samantha claps. “That’s what I said. Sit and talk with me instead. Dylan can join us when he grows up.”
Dylan turns to her. “I am grown.”
Samantha pulls out her phone.
“Don’t set a timer,” he says.
“I’m not. I’m setting a stopwatch so I can have it on record how long you keep this act up.”
“That seems rather childish.”
“Pot, kettle.” Samantha starts the stopwatch. Dylan eyes it but says nothing. “Anyway, Ben. This LA business. How long have you been thinking about this?”
“A while. I mean, sort of. Mario brought it up, but I’ve been feeling restless in New York. My life isn’t changing at all, not like you guys. I know all that’s changed is you two seeing each other twenty-four/seven, but that’s nice. Even if I don’t know how you survive this.” I gesture at Dylan who looks like he wants to retaliate but remembers he’s not talking to me.
“I survive this because it’s not twenty-four/seven,” Samantha says. “I take really long showers and practically beg my campus counselor to let me hang out with her longer.”
“Sounds healthy,” I say.
“Sounds healthy,” Dylan mockingly echoes.
I lean in. “Oh, what’s that? You heard me?”
Dylan says nothing.
Samantha shakes her head. “Ben, I think this is really sudden. You’ve registered for fall already and you love your classes and—”
“I only love my creative writing class. And Mario won’t be there.”
“But since when are you following Mario across the world?”
“That’s really dramatic.”
“Pfft,” Dylan adds, like he’s not being ridiculously dramatic right now.
“Fine, you’re thinking about following Mario across the country. To a city you’ve never been to before.”
“I don’t have to stay there if I hate it.”
“I personally think you’ll love Los Angeles, but I’m not sure this is the right move to get you there.”
“Is this an intervention?”
“It’s a loving checkin. We want the best for you, even if Dylan’s childish silent treatment says otherwise.”
My phone vibrates. I almost don’t check the text, but I’m glad I do. It’s Arthur cheering me on and telling me to stay strong. It’s like he’s sitting in this empty seat next to me.