“Oh, wow!”
Jacob’s voice—my heart leaps into my throat.
“This is so interesting,” he says, sidling up to Taj. “Walk me through it.”
Taj gestures toward me. “It’s all Arthur.”
Jacob clasps his hands. “Taking creative risks. We love to see it.”
“It probably won’t work,” I say quickly. “It’s just a random idea—I haven’t really had time to think it through. I was mostly just curious. Seriously, I can put everything back the way it—”
“Or,” Jacob says, smiling, “you could tell me about it.”
Ten minutes later, Jacob and Taj are off and running—photographing the stage from every angle, texting the stage manager, slipping into this whole second language of abbreviations and theater jargon. It’s the kind of thing that makes me feel like such an amateur, normally, but today feels different. Today, it’s just another piece of the magic I helped set into motion.
I watch from the front row, in dazed disbelief.
Jacob loved my idea. He actually gasped when I explained it. He called me a genius.
Yes, I’m a total disaster. Yes, Ben’s moving. Yes, I fucked up with Mikey. No, I’ll never be able to pull off a floral tie the way Taj can.
But.
Jacob Demsky. Called me. A genius.
When they wander back over, Jacob’s cradling the GDB like it’s his actual baby. “There’s been a truce,” Taj explains.
It feels so good to laugh.
“Arthur, you changed the game.” Jacob leans over Taj to fist-bump me. “I’m checking in with Miles tonight to get a couple of new cues locked in, but I actually think we’re in good shape. I don’t know how to thank you.”
“I’m so happy to help.” I flush proudly.
“Seriously. God, take the rest of the day off. Or take Friday! Catch the Greyhound, surprise your boyfriend—”
Taj elbows him, and he stops abruptly, midsentence.
For a moment, no one speaks.
“Um.” My voice comes out an octave too high. “I don’t. Have one of those.”
“One of . . .”
“A boyfriend. Not anymore.”
“Oh.” Jacob turns toward Taj and me. “Oh, Arthur. I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s fine!” I add, a little too quickly. “I’m the one who initiated it. I care about him, but. I guess I realized I wasn’t—I’m not in love with him. I really wanted to be.”
“Then it sounds like you made the right call,” Jacob says, so simply it cuts me wide open.
The whole story spills out. “It just sucks, because we were actually really great together, and now I miss him. So much. But it’s just not it. And how could I fix that? I don’t know; maybe we could have gotten there eventually?” A lump swells in my throat. “I guess part of it was me realizing I’m still pretty hung up on someone else, which obviously wasn’t fair to Mikey. He shouldn’t have to wait around for me to get over Ben—that’s my other ex. My first ex. But that’s not happening either. Seeing as he’s following his boyfriend to LA.”
“Following him there, like moving there?” asks Taj.
I nod down at my messenger bag, and its brown surface seems to blur a little. “It’s fine. It’s just one of those things, right? The universe wasn’t building toward an Arthur endgame. It happens.”
“But you’re not over him,” says Jacob.
“Well, no. I’m in love with him.” My voice breaks a little, and I wince. I don’t know why I thought I could sound casual while dropping that bomb. I wrench my lips into something like a smile. “Kind of pathetic, huh?”
“No, not at all,” says Taj.
“I’m so curious. What makes you think it’s game over?” asks Jacob.
“You mean with Ben?” I glance at him sideways, and he nods. “Well . . . I guess the part where he’s moving to California with his new boyfriend.”
“Right, so. Boyfriend, not husband,” Jacob says. “Is this move, like, a forever thing, or just for the summer, or what?”
“I mean, he says he’s just trying it out for now, but it’s not like he’s going to hate living in California for free with his hot TV-writer boyfriend. It’s a dream scenario.”
“Sure, but—okay, look. I’m a writer. I have to look at this like a story. The guy you’re in love with is moving to California with another guy. That’s our narrative, right?”