Teddy turns to me—wounded, eyes wide with betrayal.
“No, no, no,” I tell him. “It’s fine—”
Ted holds up the three drawings. “No one wants to see these, buddy. They’re too scary. From now on, draw nice things, okay? Horses, sunflowers.”
Teddy turns and runs across the lawn.
Caroline scowls at her husband. “That was not the right thing to say.”
Ted shrugs and takes another sip of wine. “The kid needs to hear it sooner or later. He starts school in two months. You think his teachers won’t have the same concerns?”
She stands up. “I’m going inside.”
I stand up, too. “Caroline, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just worried.”
She doesn’t stop or turn around, just marches across the lawn toward the house. “It’s fine, Mallory. Good night.”
But it’s obviously not fine. This is even worse than the last time she yelled at me. She’s so angry, she won’t even look at me. And I feel silly for crying but I can’t help myself.
Why did I have to mention Mitzi?
Why couldn’t I keep my mouth shut?
Ted pulls me close and lets me rest my head on his chest. “Listen, it’s okay, you were just being honest. But when it comes to raising children, the mother is always right. Even when she’s wrong. Do you know what I mean?”
“I’m just worried—”
“Leave the worrying to Caroline. She’ll worry enough for the both of you. She’s very protective of Teddy, haven’t you noticed? We struggled a long time to have him. It was a lot of work. And the ordeal—I guess it left her feeling insecure. Now, on top of all that, she’s gone back to work—a whole new reason to feel guilty! So anytime something goes wrong, my wife takes it very personally.”
I hadn’t considered this before, but everything Ted is saying rings true. In the mornings, when Caroline is running out the door for work, she always seems guilty about leaving the house. Maybe even jealous that I’m the person who gets to stay home and bake cupcakes with Teddy. I’ve been so busy admiring Caroline, I’ve never stopped to think that she might be envious of me.
I’ve managed to catch my breath and stop crying. Ted seems anxious to get back to his house, to check on his wife, and I have one more request before he goes. I hand him the three drawings, absolving myself of all responsibility. “Would you mind taking these? So I don’t have to look at them anymore?”
“Of course.” Ted folds the pages in half and then rips them into pieces. “You’ll never have to see these pictures again.”
10
I sleep poorly and wake up feeling awful. Caroline Maxwell has treated me better than I deserve—she’s welcomed me into her home, she’s trusted me with her child, she’s given me everything I need to start a new life—and I can’t stand knowing she’s angry with me. I lie in bed imagining a hundred different ways to say I’m sorry. And eventually I can’t put it off any longer, I have to get out of bed and face her.
When I arrive at the main house, Teddy’s down under the kitchen table, dressed in his pajamas, playing with his Lincoln Logs. Caroline’s at the kitchen sink, washing the breakfast dishes, and I offer to take over. “Also, I wanted to say I’m sorry.”
Caroline turns off the water. “No, Mallory, I’m sorry. I had too much wine, and I was wrong to blow up at you. It’s been bothering me all morning.”
She opens her arms and we hug and we both apologize again, at the same time. And then we’re laughing together and I know everything is going to be fine.
“You’re still welcome here in the main house,” she reminds me. “You could take the bedroom next to Teddy’s. I’d only need a day to get it ready.”
But I don’t want to cause her any more inconvenience. “The cottage is perfect,” I tell her. “I love it out there.”
“Okay, but if you change your mind—”
I take the dish towel from her hand and nod at the clock on the microwave oven. It’s 7:27 and I know Caroline likes to be on the road by 7:35, before the traffic turns horrendous. “Let me finish,” I tell her. “Go have a great day.”
So Caroline leaves for work and I get down to business. There isn’t really much to clean—just a few cups and cereal bowls, and the wineglasses from the night before. After I load everything into the dishwasher, I get down on my hands and knees and crawl under the kitchen table. Teddy has built a two-story farmhouse out of Lincoln Logs, and now he’s surrounding it with tiny plastic animals.