Eventually he said I could go, and told me to send Rachel in. She knew from my tearstained face that it must be bad. I wanted to warn her—so that at least she would know what to expect—and whispered in her ear as we passed each other.
“Helen tricked us. She wrote the same essay twice.”
To my surprise, Rachel was still a picture of calm.
“Try not to worry,” she whispered back. “I promise everything will be okay. Go wait for me in our secret place; I’ll come find you.”
It was dark and cold in the woods, especially when wearing nothing except a T-shirt and hockey skirt. The long socks did little to keep me warm. It seemed like a ridiculous thing to say—Rachel telling me not to worry, when it felt like the whole world was about to end—but I reminded myself that she did have a habit of always getting what she wanted, regardless of the odds. Ten minutes later, she appeared in the clearing with a big smile on her face.
“Don’t suppose you’ve got a mint or some chewing gum?” she asked.
I shook my head.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get some later. Need to brush my teeth too.”
“Why?”
“Never mind,” she said, then hugged me. “Everything is okay again, you don’t need to worry. We’ll both get A grades for those essays we just handed in, even though we didn’t write them, and our parents won’t know a thing about it. Given you just got an A, I’m hoping your mum might let you have that birthday party next weekend after all.”
I tried to pull away, so I could see her face, but she held on tighter.
“I don’t understand. How did you get Mr. Richardson to change his mind?”
“Doesn’t matter,” she whispered, then slid her free hand up my hockey skirt.
Her fingers pushed my underwear to one side, while her other arm continued to hold me close. When my knees started to shake, she let me lie down on the forest floor, and, as usual, I let her do whatever she wanted.
“Feel better?” she asked afterward.
She stood without waiting for an answer, dusted the dirt off her hands and knees, then pulled me up from the bed of dead leaves I had been lying on.
“I need to have a word with Helen before she goes home today, so we should head back to the changing rooms,” Rachel said. “Do you have any chewing gum in your bag when we get there?”
* * *
“Do you want one?” says Jack, offering me a cigarette.
I am rudely torn from the memory of the day Helen Wang pissed off Rachel Hopkins and lived to regret it. Remembering the things we used to do makes me blush.
“I’ll pass, thanks. Smoking is not my addiction of choice, as you know.”
My drinking is something we never talked about. Jack understood why I started and why I can’t stop; crutches come in all shapes and sizes. The new expression on his face looks a lot like pity. I don’t want it, so I give it back.
“I’m sorry all this horror is happening on your doorstep. I’m sure this isn’t what you expected when you ran away to the country.”
“I didn’t run away, I was pushed.”
This is a road neither of us wants to go down again, so I take an alternative route.
“I’m guessing I’m not going to be able to use my car anytime soon?” I ask.
“Afraid not. Do you need a lift somewhere?”
“No, it’s okay. I already texted Richard.”
He shakes his head. “After everything I told you about him?”
“Whatever he did in the past, I’m sure he had his reasons.”
“Call me old-fashioned, but a conviction for GBH is cause for concern in my book. You said you thought someone might have been in your room last night. Wasn’t he staying at the White Hart too?”
“You know he was. It isn’t like there’s more than one hotel around here, but it wasn’t him.”
“What made you think there was anyone there at all?”
I hesitate, still a little unsure how much I should say.
“You’re going to think I’m crazy if I tell you…”
“I already know you’re crazy. We were married for ten years, remember?”
We both smile and I decide to try to trust him, like I always used to.
“I had an old picture of me and some of the girls from school. I found it at Mum’s and I was looking at it in my hotel room last night, because of what had happened to Rachel.”
He stares at me for a long time, as though waiting for me to say more.
“And?”