I didn’t know what that meant. It was still only a few months since I’d joined the school and met them all.
Jack was just a few years older than us, but at that age a couple of years can make someone seem infinitely grown-up. He popped his head inside the door, holding his car keys in his hand. I had no idea what he was looking for, and I don’t know whether it was his floppy hair or the cheeky grin, but I liked him instantly. I wasn’t the only one.
“Hi, Jack! Why don’t you come in for a drink?” said Rachel, appearing beside me.
“No, thanks. I’m driving.”
“Just one?” she insisted.
I remember hating the way they looked at each other.
“Maybe just a Coke or something,” he said, giving in to her charm.
It was strange seeing all these people crammed into our little kitchen. My mother rarely let anyone in after my father left, and the house felt too full with them all there. Everyone looked a little surprised when the doorbell rang again, even me. I’d already had enough to drink to forget about the other person I had decided to invite.
They all came with me to the door, and they all look appalled when they saw Catherine Kelly standing behind it.
“Happy Birthday, Anna,” she said, without smiling.
Everyone just stared.
Then Rachel stepped forward and put her glass in Catherine’s hand.
“How lovely to see you, Catherine. Have a drink. I promise there is nothing nasty in this one, and you need to catch up,” she said, pulling the girl inside.
I was so happy that she was being kind. Catherine Kelly was a little strange, but I’d wanted to invite her to my party anyway. Something terrible had happened to Catherine the week before. Baby rats were found inside her school desk. Everyone blamed it on all the chips and chocolate she kept in there, but I still couldn’t understand how they had gotten inside. I felt sorry for her. I knew what it was like to be the odd one out at my old school, and didn’t want anyone else to feel that way. I thought I could help make her happy.
“Well, as fun as this looks, I’m off,” said Jack. “Mum says home by midnight or else, Zoe. Unless you want to get grounded again.”
Zoe rolled her eyes. She did it so often I worried they might get stuck that way.
“Wait!” Rachel rushed over to her bag and took out a new disposable Kodak camera. It was still in its box, and she tore at the cardboard packaging to open it. “Can you take a picture of us all together before you go?”
“Sure,” Jack said, holding out his hand.
I saw that their fingers touched as she gave him the camera, and felt a stab of irrational jealousy.
“And I almost forgot…” Rachel said.
She reached inside her pocket, before arranging us all in a line against the floral wallpaper in my mother’s living room.
“… lovely Anna made us all friendship bracelets, and I think we should wear them.”
So we put them on, because people always did what Rachel said to do.
We posed against that wall with our arms wrapped around each other, wearing our red-and-white cotton bracelets, and looking like the best of friends. Even Catherine Kelly, who Rachel positioned right in the middle, was smiling in the photo, her ugly braces, crazy curly white hair, and horrible clothes on display for the whole world to see.
It was the same photo I found yesterday with Rachel’s face crossed out.
Him
Wednesday 23:00
I cross the road and realize I’ve taken a wrong turn. I’m drunk. Too drunk to drive home from Priya’s house, so I decided to walk. I know I shouldn’t have kissed her, but that’s all it was, a drunken kiss. No need to turn it into a drama, or blow it out of proportion. I was thinking about Anna when I did it, perhaps because of the taste of whiskey inside her mouth and mine. I don’t regret it. I will in the morning, but for now I’m going to enjoy the way tonight made me feel: to know that a beautiful, intelligent young woman finds me attractive.
I choose not to linger on the question of why.
Spending time with someone younger than myself made me feel less old tonight. Listening to Priya talk about her future made me realize my own might not be set in stone. Youth fools us into thinking there are infinite paths to choose from in life; maturity tricks us into thinking there is only one. Priya opened up about her past, and her honesty was contagious. She told me her mother died of cancer last year and she’s still grieving. The woman raised her alone, in a community that frowned upon that sort of thing, and Priya was quite open about how much she missed having a father figure growing up.