I sighed. “Dr. Miller, I hope I don’t sound arrogant here, but I know what I’m doing with Brown Sugar. I’m good at it. Can’t I figure out some other way to boost ratings?”
Dr. Miller’s coppery-brown tinted lips pulled into a subtle smirk. “Kiki, it’s not arrogant to know what you’re good at. It’s arrogant to think you don’t need to grow. Find out what more you can do for your people. I know you’ll find a creative way to do it. I mean, every seminar you find a way to call Percy the same thing using different words.” She sipped her coffee, hiding her tongue in her cheek.
I tried to balance my elation that she believed in me with the fact that she was basically asking me to do the impossible. Brown Sugar was my space. Yeah, I shared it with other people, but I was safe behind it. Inviting other people’s opinions meant it was likely to fall out of my control, become messier. It meant I could mess up. I wasn’t in the habit of doing that.
Dr. Miller smiled widely. “What a sweet look of torment on your face. Look, I have something fun that could help. The student in my other seminar—”
Ah, my nemesis.
“—is working on a new film. I’m their personal tutor too. They came to me asking if I thought the film was a good idea, and I do. They’re just missing something, and I think talking to you would help them. Likewise, I think you talking to them might help you come up with ideas to reach people. They’re personable, friendly—”
“Dr. Miller, are you saying that I’m n—”
“You’re a delight, Kikiola, but people use consultants in media all the time. This student is bright and sharp. They’re also new, so I think you would be able to help them settle in. This person is different from your fellow seminar students, they’re more . . . your wavelength. You’ll work well together—”
“Oh, so they’re Black?”
Dr. Miller ignored me, possibly because answering that question would have risked her suspension. “I’ll email you some of their work. I think you’ll find it interesting.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose, prickling a little at my phantom academic nemesis. I wondered if she could pull off sideboob? Probably. It was tragic, perhaps, but school was my thing, my skill at it an anchor, and now, apparently, I needed a helper to achieve my goals.
Dr. Miller’s amber-brown eyes filled with warmth as she assessed me. “I want you to go to New York for this program, Kikiola, and I really want to be able to give you the best shot of getting there. Give it a chance.”
I wasn’t sure if Dr. Miller really liked me or secretly hated my guts. Why go out of my way to entangle myself with other people when I was doing fine by myself? This was my fault for choosing a liberal arts university in England. Who does that? It’s not even the norm and now, because I didn’t choose to do biochemistry or law like a good Nigerian daughter, I had to suffer through some kind of holistic abstract learning experience with a stranger?! Put me through a tort tournament, please. Maybe this was actually my parents’ fault. Their understanding and relative liberalness gave me the freedom to opt for a degree I’d enjoy rather than one that would set their mind at ease. Quite shortsighted of them to value my happiness. Being a lawyer wouldn’t even have been that bad. Sure, my soul might have become a calcified husk, but I would look great in a formal pencil skirt. I have a great butt.
“The deadline for the application is January. You have plenty of time. I’m looking forward to what you come up with for Brown Sugar.” Dr Miller silenced any potential questions by putting her coffee down for the last time. “That’s enough for today. Enjoy your student party tonight. And thank you for not bringing me a flat white.”
“It wasn’t my pleasure at all.”
She lifted her empty cup in salute.
Chapter 4
An Afrobeat song was playing, skipped beats and melodies that smoothed around waist and hip, cajoling them to come out, come play. I wanted to come out, come play—or at the very least not think about New York or some irritant getting in the way of it. A rugged, low, sexy West African mandem voice pleading with babygehl not to kill him with that load she’s carrying （the load, if it wasn’t clear, is her butt） was pulsating through the speakers and mingling with the crisp autumn night. Aminah and I, positioned as the babyghels, moved through it, hips swaying, heels clicking against the asphalt as we walked the path to our gritty student bar, shabby on the outside, but the hottest rap video club on the inside. To us, anyway. Everything we did as Blackwellians, we did as a pastiche of the luxe life.