As soon as they cleared the threshold of his apartment, Fox kicked the door closed behind them and Hannah slid off his back. He couldn’t stop himself from observing the way she tugged the skirt of her dress down. It had ridden high, torturously so, on her legs. And, God, the skin on the inside of her thighs looked smooth. Lickable.
“Why was the trip strained?” she asked, following him into the kitchen with her pint of ice cream.
Strained, indeed.
Fox shook his head while taking two spoons out of the drawer. “No reason. Forget I said anything.”
Wide-eyed and flushed, she leaned against his kitchen island. “Is it Brendan’s fault? Because I can’t talk trash about my sister’s fiancé. Unless you really want to.” A beat passed. “Okay, you convinced me. What’s his problem? He can be so mean. And, like, what is with the beanie? Is it glued on?”
A laugh snuck out before he could catch it.
How did she do this? How could she rip him free of the jaws of envy and bring him back to a place of comfort and belonging? The fact that they were in his kitchen, with no one else around, made it a lot easier to relax. It was just them. Just Hannah, now barefoot, working off the top of the ice cream, giving him her undivided attention. He wanted to sink into it, into her. He was . . . selfish when it came to Hannah. Yeah. He wanted his friend all to himself. No directors allowed.
“I guess you could say it was tense because of Brendan,” Fox said slowly, handing Hannah a spoon across the island. “But I’m equally to blame.”
“Are you guys having a fight?”
He shook his head. “Not a fight. Just a difference of opinion.” That was putting it mildly, considering he and his best friend had been like oil and water all week. Brendan continued to broach the uncomfortable subject of his intentions with Hannah, leading to Fox avoiding him, which was not easy to do in the middle of the ocean. They’d stormed off the boat in opposite directions as soon as it reached the dock in Grays. “You know Brendan is adding a second crabbing boat to the company? It’s being built in Alaska. Almost finished at this point.”
Hannah nodded around her first bite. “Piper mentioned it, yes.”
It took him a deep breath to say the next part out loud. He’d told no one. “Last summer, around the time you and Piper showed up, Brendan asked me to take over as captain of the Della Ray. So he could move to the new boat, focus on building a second crew so we can better compete during crab season.”
He waited for the congratulations. Waited for her to gasp, come around the island, and hug him. Truthfully, he wouldn’t have minded the hug.
Instead, she lowered the spoon and watched him solemnly, a wealth of thoughts dancing behind her eyes. “You don’t want to be the captain of the Della Ray?”
“Of course I don’t, Hannah.” He laughed, a buzz saw turning against the back of his neck. “It’s an honor to be asked. That boat—it’s . . . a part of the history of this town. But, Jesus, I’m not interested in that level of responsibility. I don’t want it. And he should know me well enough to realize that. You should know me well enough to realize it, too.”
Hannah blinked. “I do know you well enough, Fox. The first conversation we ever had was about you being content to take orders and walk away whistling with a paycheck.”
Why did he hate the first impression he’d given her when it was perfectly accurate? He was even perpetuating it now. Doubling down. Because it was the truth—he was content like this. Needed to be.
At eighteen, he’d had aspirations of being something other than a fisherman. He’d even formed a start-up with a college friend and fellow business major. Westport and his tomcat status were almost in the rearview when he realized he could never escape it. From thousands of miles away, his past and the expectations people had for him cast a shadow. Spoiled the business and partnership he’d tried to build. His reputation followed him, poisoning everything it touched. So, yeah, there was no sense trying to be something he wasn’t.
Men didn’t want a leader, a captain, they couldn’t respect.
“That’s right.” He turned and took a beer out of the fridge, uncapping it with his teeth. “I’m fine right where I am. Not everyone has to strive for greatness. Sometimes getting by is just as rewarding.”
“Okay.” He faced Hannah again in time to see her nod, seeming like she wanted to stay silent but was unable to do it. “Have you let yourself visualize being captain, though?”