As if reading his mind, Hannah rubbed her thumb over the back of his knuckles, turning slightly and resting her head on his shoulder. Trustingly.
Like a friend. Just a friend.
God. Why couldn’t he breathe?
“Bingo!” crowed one of the women sitting across from them.
“Oh hell. Did I hear Eleanor call bingo down there?” Charlene said, whistling into the microphone and banging the mini gong she kept perched on her station. “Eleanor, you have been on fire these past couple of weeks.”
“That’s because she’s a filthy cheat!” Paula spat.
“Now, Paula, be a good sport,” Charlene scolded lightly. “We all get a lucky run once in a while. Eleanor? My handsome son is going to bring me your card so I can check it over, okay?”
Eleanor handed the card to Fox with a flourish, baring her teeth in a triumphant smile entirely for Paula’s benefit. Fox scooted his chair back, wishing the round had gone on longer so Hannah’s head could have rested on his shoulder for another few minutes. Maybe if he played his cards right, she’d sleep in his bed again tonight? The prospect of holding her while she slept, waking up beside her, made him eager to get home and see how he could maneuver it . . .
Christ. Who am I anymore?
He was trying to come up with a way to get Hannah into bed so they could have an entirely platonic sleepover. Did he even own a dick anymore?
She’d probably be dreaming of another man the entire time.
Counting the minutes until she went back to LA.
Fox handed the card to his mother, realizing he’d nearly mangled the damn thing in his fist.
“Thank you, Fox,” Charlene sang, leaning forward to cover the microphone. “You serious about that girl, son?”
He was caught off guard by the question. Probably because he’d never spoken to his mother about girls before. Not since he’d turned fourteen and she’d made him watch an online tutorial on how to apply a condom. After which she’d put an empty coffee can in the pantry and kept it full of singles and fives at all times. She’d told him it was there, pointedly, without explaining the exact purpose. But he’d known she was supplying him with condom money. Before he’d ever had sex, she’d predicted his behavior.
Or maybe he’d behaved a certain way because it had been expected.
Fox had never really considered that possibility. But over the course of the last week, there’d been a sense of emerging from a fog. Looking around and wondering how the hell he’d gotten to that exact spot. Empty hookups, no responsibilities, no roots digging into the earth. Had he been living this way too long to consider stopping?
You have stopped, idiot.
Temporarily.
Right.
With his mother’s question still hanging in the air, Fox glanced back at Hannah. God, every cell in his body rebelled at the idea of meeting another woman—not Hannah—in Seattle. But he’d tried to escape himself before and it blew up in his fucking face. It left scars and taught him a painful lesson about the impression he gave people simply by existing. And he wasn’t going to try it again, was he? For this girl who could decimate him by choosing someone else? In a sense, she had chosen someone else already.
“No,” he finally answered his mother, sounding choked. “No, we’re friends. That’s it.” He flashed her a grin that almost hurt. “You know how I am.”
“I know you came home from school every day since freshman year smelling like Bath and Body Works.” She chuckled. “Well, be careful with her, will you? There’s something about her. Almost like she’s protective of you even though she barely reaches your chin.”
He caught the urge to tell Charlene that, yeah, that’s exactly how she made him feel. Protected. Wanted. For reasons he couldn’t have fathomed before meeting her. She liked him. Liked spending time with him.
“I’ll be careful with her.” His voice almost shook. “Of course I will.”
“Good.” She switched hands covering the microphone so she could reach up and cradle the side of his face. “My darling heartbreaker.”
“I’ve never broken anyone’s heart.”
That was true. He’d never been close enough to anyone for that to be a possibility. Not even Melinda. He might have given his college girlfriend more of himself than anyone who came before, but they’d been nowhere near as close as Fox and Hannah.
Did he want to get even closer to Hannah?
If Sergei was out of the picture, what would closer look like?