I keep my eyes locked on his as I slide my empty glass to the waitress who is now staring at Holder with her jaw wide open. I keep a straight face when I reply.
“That’s much better,” I say. “And yes. I believe I can arrange that.”
He nods once, then slides his glass next to mine, glancing up at the waitress. She finally snaps out of her trance and quickly refills our glasses, then walks away. As soon as she’s gone, I glare at Holder and shake my head. “You’re evil, Dean Holder,” I laugh.
“What?” he says innocently.
“It should be illegal for the words ‘make love’ and ‘sex’ to flow past your lips when in the presence of any female besides the one who actually gets to experience you. I don’t think you realize what you do to women.”
He shakes his head and attempts to brush off my comment.
“I’m serious, Holder. Without trying to explode your ego, you should know that you’re incredibly appealing to pretty much any female with a pulse. I mean, think about it. I can’t even count the number of guys I’ve met in my life, yet somehow you’re the only one I’ve ever been attracted to? Explain that one.”
He laughs. “That’s an easy one, babe.”
“How so?”
“Because,” he says, looking at me pointedly. “You already loved me before you saw me in the grocery store that day. Just because you blocked the memory of me out of your mind doesn’t mean you blocked the memory of me out of your heart.” He brings a forkful of food to his mouth, but pauses before he takes a bite. “Maybe you’re right, though. It could have just been the fact that you wanted to lick my dimples,” he says, shoving the forkful into his mouth.
“It was definitely the dimples,” I say, smiling. I can’t count the number of times he’s made me smile in the half hour that we’ve been here, and I’ve somehow eaten half of the food on my plate. His presence alone works wonders for a wounded soul.
We’re a block from Karen’s house when I ask him to pull over. The anticipation during the drive over here was torture enough, but actually arriving is absolutely terrifying. I have no idea what to say to her or how I’m supposed to react when I walk through the front door.
Holder pulls over to the side of the road and puts the car in park. He looks over at me with concern in his eyes. “You need a chapter break?” he asks.
I nod, inhaling a deep breath. He reaches across the seat and grabs my hand. “What is it that scares you the most about seeing her?”
I shift in my seat to face him. “I’m scared that no matter what she says to me today, I’ll never be able to forgive her. I know that my life turned out better with her than it would have if I had stayed with my father, but she had no way of knowing that when she stole me from him. The fact that I know what she’s capable of makes it impossible for me to forgive her. If I couldn’t forgive my father for what he did to me…then I feel like I shouldn’t forgive her, either.”
He brushes his thumb across the top of my hand. “Maybe you’ll never forgive her for what she did, but you can appreciate the life she gave you after she did it. She’s been a good mom to you, Sky. Remember that when you talk to her today, okay?”
I expel a nervous breath. “That’s the part I can’t get over,” I say. “The fact that she has been a good mom and I love her for it. I love her so much and I’m scared to death that after today, I won’t have her anymore.”
Holder pulls me to him and hugs me. “I’m scared for you too, baby,” he says, unwilling to pretend everything will be okay when it can’t. It’s the fear of the unknown that we’re both wrapped up in. Neither of us has any idea which path my life will take after I walk through that front door, and if it’s a path we’ll even be able to take together.
I pull apart from him and place my hands on my knees, working up courage to get this over with. “I’m ready,” I say. He nods, then pulls his car back onto the road and rounds the corner, coming to a stop in my driveway. Seeing my home causes my hands to tremble even more than they were before. Holder opens the driver’s side door when Jack walks outside and he turns to face me.
“Stay here,” he says. “I want to talk to Jack first.” Holder gets out of the car and shuts the door behind him. I stay put like he asked me to because I’m honestly in no hurry to get out of this car. I watch as Holder and Jack speak for several minutes. The fact that Jack is here, still supporting her, makes me wonder if Karen actually told him the truth about what she did. I doubt he would be here if he knew the truth.