I twist my body beneath his, hoping he’ll get the hint that I’m attempting to direct his hand to keep going wherever it wants to go. I don’t want him to second-guess himself or think for a second that I’m hesitant to go any further. I just want him to do whatever it is he wants to do, because I need him to. I need him to conquer as many firsts as he can tonight, because I’m suddenly feeling greedy and I want us to pass them all.
He takes my physical cues and inches his hand closer to my inner thigh. The anticipation of him touching me alone is enough to cause every muscle from the waist down to clench. His lips have finally made their way past the base of my throat and down to the rise in my chest. I feel like the next step is for him to remove the dress completely so he can get to what’s underneath it, but that would require his other hand, and I really like it where it is. I’d like it a little more if it were a few inches further, but I absolutely don’t want it further away.
I bring my hands to his face and force him to kiss me harder, then drop my hands to his back.
He’s still wearing a shirt.
This isn’t good.
I reach around to his stomach and pull his shirt up over his head, but I don’t realize when I do, that it also causes him to move his hand off of my thigh. I may have whimpered a little, because he grins and kisses the corner of my mouth.
We keep our gaze locked and he gently strokes my face with his fingertips, trailing over every part of it. He never looks away and he keeps his eyes locked on mine, even when he dips his head to plant kisses around the edges of my lips. The way he looks at me makes me feel…I try to search for an adjective to follow up that thought, but I can’t find one. He just makes me feel. He’s the only boy that’s ever cared whether or not I’m feeling anything at all, and for that alone, I let him steal another small piece of my heart. But it doesn’t feel like enough, because I unexpectedly want to give it all to him.
“Holder,” I breathe. He slides his hands up my waist and moves closer to me.
“Sky,” he says, mimicking my tone. His mouth reaches my lips and he slips his tongue inside. It’s sweet and warm and I know it hasn’t been very long since I last tasted it, but I’ve missed it. His hands are on either side of my head and he’s being careful not to touch me with any part of his hands or his body now. Only his mouth.
“Holder,” I mumble, pulling away. I bring my hand to his cheek. “I want to. Tonight. Right now.”
His expression doesn’t change. He stares at me like he didn’t hear me. Maybe he didn’t hear me, because he certainly isn’t taking me up on the offer.
“Sky…” His voice is full of hesitation. “We don’t have to. I want you to be absolutely positive it’s what you want. Okay?” He’s caressing my cheek now. “I don’t want to rush you into anything.”
“I know that. But I’m telling you I want this. I’ve never wanted it with anyone before, but I want it with you.”
His eyes are trained on mine and he’s soaking in every single word I’ve said. He’s either in denial or shock, neither of which are helping my cause. I take both of my hands and place them on his cheeks, then pull his lips in close to mine. “This isn’t me saying yes, Holder. This is me saying please.”
With that, his lips crash to mine and he groans. Hearing that sound come from deep within his chest further solidifies my decision. I need him and I need him now.
“We’re really doing this?” he says into my mouth, still kissing me frantically.
“Yes. We’re really doing this. I’ve never been more positive of anything in my life.”
His hand slips up my thigh and he slips his hand between my hip and my panties, then begins to slide them down.
“I just need you to promise me one thing first,” I say.
He kisses me softly, then pulls his hand away from my underwear （dammit） and nods. “Anything, baby.”
I grab his hand and put it right back where it was on my hip. “I want to do this, but only if you promise we’ll break the record for the best first time in the history of first times.”
He grins down at me. “When it’s you and me, Sky…it’ll never be anything less.”
He snakes his arm underneath my back and pulls me up with him. His hands move to my arms and he hooks his fingers underneath the thin straps of my dress, sliding them off my shoulders. I close my eyes tightly and press my cheek to his, fisting my hands in his hair. I can feel his breath meet my shoulder before his lips do. He barely kisses it, but it’s as if he touches and ignites every part of me from the inside out with that one kiss.