“I did impress the young woman, eventually. Hell, she agreed to marry me before the cast came off. And the guy who gave me the nickname? Been my best friend for over fifty years. And between you, me, and these four walls, I think I’ve made it as far in my career as I have because my name stands out in a pile of resumes. Not many Flips around.”
I pressed my lips together, trying to suppress a smile.
“Sometimes things that seem dumb, stupid, even dangerous at the time—hell, things that most certainly are dumb, stupid, and dangerous—sometimes they work out. And sometimes those bad decisions? They end up being the most important decisions we ever made. Especially when you have a good head on your shoulders to begin with.” He eyed me over the rim of his coffee cup.
Touché, Flip. I nodded slowly, wondering which of my dumb, stupid, and dangerous decisions might end up being my ticket to happiness.
“To address the elephant in the room, I would have liked to know about the relationship between you and Mr. Shaw. I’ve shared that with him, and I’m telling you. I’m disappointed you kept it a secret.”
I glanced away. “I’m sorry I didn’t disclose it. I know I should have.”
He nodded. “I imagine you do. These things can be complicated, but I still think you’re an important voice in these conversations. In the future, please speak up. If you’ll give an old man leeway to say so, you’re good at it.
“As for what happened in there?” He took a sip of his coffee, then dumped the rest in the sink. “It’s commendable that you stood up for yourself. And it needed to happen. Those old boys’ club rules don’t apply anymore, and I’m sorry I didn’t step in myself. I will do better. Would you like me to speak with him?”
I shook my head. I appreciated his offer but didn’t want to give Davis chances to spin more lies.
President Lewis patted me twice on the shoulder and said, “I don’t think we need to discuss anything else.” He left the room to join the others at the lake. The screen door clicked as he exited the building.
Forty-one
Okay. That went better than I thought.
Flip walked away from the cabin toward the tree line, beyond which was the lake where everyone had gathered for dinner. I needed to get down there before they came looking for me, but first I wanted to take a few minutes to collect myself before seeing Jake. I stepped out the door but headed in the opposite direction, into the woods. With Davis by the lake along with everyone else, I could finally take a deep breath. The early-evening sun cast everything in a muted light, and I focused on the crunch of sticks and loose dirt beneath my shoes before sitting on a large boulder in a clearing. Talking with Flip had made me feel better, more in control. I loved my job and had worked hard, but I realized as I inhaled in the fresh air that I’d been using my job as a hiding place.
To do: Review my tenure materials. I can’t have real power in this place until I earn it, and I’m ready. I’ve done everything required to be promoted.
To do: Invite Jill and other early-career women to start a club or organization, some space to connect with one another.
To do: Get Jake back.
I’d been considering what I could say to him to make things right and how to choose the perfect words and ultimately realized the perfect words would be the ones I opened my mouth and said out loud. I need to be honest with him. I took another deep breath and stilled my nerves, calling up every reserve of confidence I had. I’ll find him. I’ll beg him to listen. I’ll grovel if I have to. I turned to the lake when footsteps sounded behind me.
I whirled around.
Davis laughed, a dry, grating sound. “Did you tell on me?” His voice was low, menacing, and he approached me quickly. “Convince Flip I was being mean to you?”
“I didn’t say anything about you, okay?”
He advanced, making me step back. “You know if you do, you’ll regret it. It would be so easy to share a photo or two. I’m sure your boyfriend will have plenty of time to look at them after we fire his company for unethical conduct. Maybe I’ll convince Flip to bring suit against them for the lost time and resources.”
My pulse raced as I took another step back, the snap of twigs under my feet, the distant sound of the birds suddenly louder. “I’m not going to say anything to Flip. Just leave me alone, Davis.”
He ignored me, holding up his phone. I couldn’t take back the photo, like I couldn’t take back the years of manipulation. I had to live with the consequences of both. The bruises he’d left on my arms, the hateful words he’d said, and the violence he’d threatened weren’t in the photo, just in my memory, and I couldn’t take that back, either.