Finishing off my drink, I slide the glass away and slip off the stool before I’m tempted to order another. As much as I’d like to succumb to the pleasant buzz a few drinks bring, I want to have all my wits when dealing with Xavier.
I prepared myself to see him again as much as I’m capable of in such a short amount of time, but I’m not delusional enough to believe that he’s not going to rip open old wounds in a matter of seconds. But I’m stronger than I was, and I will never bleed for him again.
Once I make my way downstairs, Zade will follow soon after. While he trusts me to handle myself, he still refuses to leave me on my own.
I can't deny that his presence brings me strength, and when facing one of my abusers, I’ll take as much as I can get.
Releasing a slow exhale, I find the curtain that leads downstairs, where men and women come and go. Ducking my head, I follow behind a couple, their hands roaming all over each other with every step.
The smell of sex permeates the air when I emerge from another curtained entryway.
Down here, a significant number of bodies occupy the space—at least half of them is in a state of undress. Several women bare their breasts for others to touch and kiss. A few men have their hands up dresses or deep inside another man’s trousers.
Nothing is off-limits down here, and I have to remind myself that this is consensual. This isn’t like when me and the other girls were punished together, a room full of naked bodies but several of us unwilling.
For a moment, I stop to take it all in. Familiarize myself with sex that creeps along the edge of innately wicked yet brings nothing short of pleasure and desire. For everyone involved.
Truthfully, I’m envious. I miss the freedom of sex, and my comfort with it. Even when a dangerous, imposing man forced it on me, my body still crowed for it, even if my head screamed otherwise. Now, the thought of it feels like taking a strong drug and getting too high. It’s a nerve-racking feeling because control is unattainable, and it becomes a constant battle of talking yourself down from panicking.
Forcing my shoulders to ease, I glance around the room, looking for anyone who resembles Xavier. Most are wearing half-masks, leaving their mouths uncovered for… purposes.
Heart pounding, I weave through the bodies, searching for him and coming up empty.
It isn’t until fifteen minutes later that Zade directs, “Found him. He’s down the hallway in the viewing rooms.”
I spot the hallway to my left, swallowing when I find how dark and uninviting it looks. Holding my breath, I sidle past writhing bodies, ducking away from a few wandering hands.
My heart hammers in my chest when I enter the hallway. Neon red lights line the ceiling on either side, illuminating the space in the color that represents debauchery. It reminds me of a haunted house in a way, but instead of screams of terror, it’s screams of pleasure.
“You can do this, Addie,” Zade encourages, voice soft. He must be able to hear my heavy breathing. Perspiration coats my forehead and the back of my neck as I walk into a room I would’ve thought I’d only see in movies.
There are three massive glass windows in each wall surrounding me. Behind each window is a room, a couple in various stages of sex. Straight ahead, a woman is on all fours while a man stands behind her and whips her ass with a cane.
The couple to my left is trading oral sex. The man stands with the woman in his arms, flipped upside down. I cock my head, a little curious how hard that would be to do.
To my right, the woman is chained to the bed, writhing as a man in a leather suit whips her.
There must be speakers in the rooms because their moans are just as loud as they would be if I were standing next to them.
Several voyeurs stand both in and outside the rooms, watching the couples while subtly touching themselves or the person next to them.
I shift apprehensively, beginning to feel way out of my element.
“Incoming, baby,” Zade warns, but I hardly hear him. I’m so hypnotized by what’s happening in front of me that I don’t notice the person approaching, not until their voice is in my ear.
“Which one intrigues you the most?”
I startle, unable to contain the gasp. My heart pounds in my chest, and my stomach flutters from the fright.
I’d recognize his voice anywhere. I hear it so often in my nightmares; I fear I’ll never forget it.
Xavier stands next to me, hands casually in his pockets as he watches on. Half of his face is covered by a black mask with a silver diamond painted over one eye.
“Terribly sorry to scare you,” he murmurs, the smirk on his face indicating he’s not sorry at all.