Then, he reaches over and grabs his shirt from the floor and cleans me up.
A satisfied look relaxes his face, drawing out a small smile. Until I glance down at his chest, seeing something I hadn’t noticed before.
“What is that?” I ask, my voice strangled with shock. He balls up the shirt and tosses it to the side, then locks his gaze onto mine.
“A reminder,” he answers simply.
I try to swallow, words getting stuck in my throat like dry bread.
“What did you do?” I croak. It burns my fingertips as I brush them across his most recent scar, as if he branded himself and the flesh is still sizzling.
Glaring at me is a macabre rose marring the skin directly over his heart, cutting into the old scar. A fucking rose. He carved a symbol of his love for me into his chest.
“Why?”
His gaze sears into me with so many different emotions swirling in the mismatched pools. Regret. Shame. Guilt. Fury. All prevalent as he stares up at me like I’m a fading mirage, and he doesn’t know how to let me go.
“I told you I don’t hide from my failures,” he says softly. “What happened to you was my failure. And this serves as a reminder every day.”
I shake my head, at a loss for words. Several times, I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Zade,” I finally choke out. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe not directly, but that doesn’t exempt me from blame. Max sold you out because of the bad blood between us and I should’ve killed him when he first started giving you trouble. That was my first mistake, and because of that, you were kidnapped.”
His fists clench and the muscle in his jaw thrums against his skin. Any second now, it just might burst.
“And that was my second mistake,” he rasps. “My protection wasn’t good enough. I can’t always be by your side, we both know that, but it was too easy for them to take you. I won’t make that mistake again.”
His hand drifts through the tendrils of my hair before brushing softly against the back of my neck.
“I don’t care if I need to set this world on fire until there’s no one left but you and me. The world will burn around us, and I’ll gladly live in chaos with you as long as the only person that is a danger to you is me.”
Clenching my teeth, I dig my nail into the rose. He hisses but doesn’t stop me.
“Stop taking the blame for other people being fucked in the head. You didn’t put a target on my head. You didn’t sell me out in the name of revenge and money. And you didn’t kidnap me and sell me off into the sex trade. What you did was find me and save me.”
I dig my nail in harder, a bloody crescent moon forming over the rose.
“You rescued me, and I will never forget that. And the only way I can repay you is by saving myself. Getting stronger and not letting what those sick fucks did to me control my life. I may have cracked, but they did not shatter me. My rose still has fucking thorns, Zade. Do you understand me?”
Before he can respond, I lean forward and collect the beads of blood on my tongue. Then, I slowly lick my lips, smearing the crimson around my mouth like lipstick.
His eyes zero in on the movement, his chest heaving.
“I wanted to know what it tasted like when someone else bleeds for me,” I whisper.
He works his jaw. “I’ll always bleed for you,” he whispers before gripping my jaw in his hand and connecting his lips softly with mine, licking his blood from my lips.
“You’re still my helpless little mouse, but only when it comes to my irresistible prowess,” he says when he pulls away, gracing me with a shit-eating grin.
I close my eyes, a laugh bursting from my mouth. A single tear slips out, emotions rising up my throat. The happy vapors are back, and I hope to God they stick around for a little while this time.
“You’re such a prick.”
“No, baby, I’m just the masochist that can’t get enough of your beauty, even when you draw blood.” He glances down at the tiny droplets sprouting from where I dug my nail into his skin.
I purse my lips. “I guess I’m the prick then.”
Chapter 34
The Diamond
“Ring around the rosies, pocket full of posies,” Sibby sings loudly, skipping around the three wriggling bodies strapped to their chairs. “Ashes, ashes, we all fall DOWN!” she screams, kicking the back of Rocco’s chair on the last word. She shouts it so loudly, even I jump.
I let out a long-suffering sigh. She’s been singing all damn day, taunting them to the point that Francesca has officially soiled herself.