The muscle in his jaw pops, but I can’t tell what’s on his mind. It takes him a few moments, but eventually, he turns his head to me with an empty expression.
“Do you want me to spare his life?” he asks, voice monotone.
I open my mouth, but no words make it out.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I really don’t know.”
“What did we talk about before? Decide what you can and cannot live with. Can you live with knowing that I killed Rio, or can you not?”
I frown, looking down at my hands while I contemplate that. I’ve been picking at a hangnail without even realizing, a dot of blood on the side of my thumb.
“Would you do it?” I question, looking up at him. “If I asked, would you spare his life?”
“Yes,” he responds. “I would kill for you—I have killed for you—but I would also put down a gun and never pick it up again if you asked it of me. The lengths I would go to for you are terrifying, little mouse. So easily, you could destroy me, and I would lie down and take it. I don’t care if I live or die—as long as it’s all for you.”
“Don’t say that,” I whisper.
“I don’t lie, Adeline, and I’m not going to start now. So, tell me. Do you want me to spare his life?”
“Yes,” I answer after a few beats. “I want Rio to live with his own choices. Whether he regrets the decisions he made or not, I want him to live with it. And I don’t want either of us to be responsible for taking away Katerina’s brother.”
Zade drops his head, but he nods. And the love that was nearly bursting from my tongue when I saw him on TV is back again, though it never really left.
I crawl from the bed and kneel between his spread thighs, grabbing his face in my palms and kissing his lips softly.
“Thank you,” I say. “Not just for this, but for earlier, too. Taking the blame for Xavier’s death.”
“Didn’t I say I’d do anything for you?” he asks, turning his head to kiss my palm before slipping from my fingers and standing up.
“I need to shower. Sleep, baby.”
I open my mouth, but he’s closing the bathroom door behind him before I can process his exit, leaving me kneeling on the floor and feeling a little dejected.
My heart sinks, guilt gnawing at my insides for asking him to spare Rio. I wonder if I should rescind my decision. Though if I’m being honest with myself, I think I’d mourn his death. And I’d never be able to look Katerina in the eye again, despite what her brother has put me through.
I’m sitting up in bed, mind racing over what to do when Zade emerges, steam rolling from the depths of the bathroom from behind him. He dons nothing but a black towel, loosely tucked around his waist and on the verge of slipping off.
My mouth waters at the sight, and I grow so heated, my blood boils until I’m left with nothing but vapors.
There will never be another that looks like him—never another that will be anything like him. And there’s a small part of me terrified to see the day Zade dies. Though I’ll have a lot to fucking say if he croaks before he turns ninety.
Asshole jumped through hoops to get me, now he has to suffer through a long life of having me.
I'll never understand how humans fear death when time is far scarier. It ultimately leads us to death because it’s the only thing that truly makes us mortal. We’re locked in the illusion with no way out.
Fuck, I really want out.
When he spots me, he pauses just briefly before sighing. “You’re still up.”
“And you’re hiding from me,” I retort.
He chuckles humorlessly. “I’m a stalker, baby. I’ve always hidden from you.”
“Stop it,” I snap.
“What do you want, Adeline?” he asks sharply, his frustration mounting.
“Dammit, Zade, I want you. I’m sorry that Rio gets to live, okay? Jesus, it’s one of the very few things you’ve let me have power over, and you’re making me feel guilty…” My voice trails off when he storms over to me, fear clogging my throat.
In seconds, he’s standing before me, gripping my jaw in his hand, and pulling me up until my knees barely touch the bed. I squeal, clawing at his arm, but he doesn’t relent.
“You love to pretend you’re so fucking helpless, just like a little mouse caught in a trap. If that’s what you want to be, I can show you what it truly means to be powerless. I can show you what it means to be me.”
My eyes widen with bafflement, my nails digging deeper. “You?!” I echo, aghast from his implication.