I got the slow, creeping sense that this was going to turn into one of those work moments. “Alex, you know he’s here to see me. He already told you.”
“Might have changed his mind,” Alex pointed out. “Fellow can, you know.”
“Alex, you don’t even know who this guy is.”
That made Alex do his indignant face. “Yes I do. He’s JoJo Ryan.”
“Who is?” I prompted.
“Who is here to see somebody who works for CRAPP, and frankly, Luc, I think it’s very selfish of you to want to keep our visitor all to yourself.”
Rhys looked around from his phone. Apparently, the chat had been updating him. “According to the Rhysocrats, JoJo Ryan is some kind of You Tuber.” Grinning, he extended a hand. “Lovely to meet you, JoJo. Always nice to meet a fellow influencer.”
I sighed. “You’re not an influencer, Rhys.”
“Excuse me, I have nine hundred and seventy-four followers.”
He paused. “Well, nine hundred and seventy-two, really, because one of them is my auntie Margery and another is my auntie Margery’s python.”
I wasn’t going to ask. I wasn’t going to ask. I wasn’t going to ask.
“Why does your auntie Margery have a python, and why does it follow you on YouTube?”
“She’s got a python,” said Rhys, and I instantly regretted my lack of self-control, “because she’s allergic to cats and because she got used to snakes when she was an exotic dancer. And he follows me on You Tube because Auntie Margery thinks he finds my voice calming.”
There was so much to process there. “Your aunt was an exotic dancer?”
“Oh yes. Very tasteful, minimal nudity.”
I wasn’t going to ask. I wasn’t going to ask. I wasn’t going to ask.
“What does minimal nudity look like?”
“Honestly, Luc.” Rhys gave me a look of admonition. “Asking a man what his aunt looks like naked is low even for you.”
“I wasn’t—” But there was no point protesting. I’d only dig myself into a deeper hole.
“Actually”—JoJo finally managed to get a word in—“I was here to talk to Luc. About something a bit personal.”
Alex gave me an apologetic look. “Ah, as it turns out, he hasn’t changed his mind at all. Well played, old boy.”
“This was never a game.” I made my best welcome-to-CRAPP
gesture at JoJo and led him through to the relative privacy of my office.
To be honest, I wasn’t thrilled to be leading him through to the relative privacy of my office, but having already made a scene at his wedding, I didn’t want to compound it by making a scene at my place of work.
Sitting down at my desk, I tried to psych myself up to apologise.
Which was going to be difficult because, in a lot of ways, I wasn’t fucking sorry. I’d done more than my fair share of reconciliation bullshit by showing up in the first place. Expecting me to be “yes, we’re bros now” was a bridge too far. And not like a little tiny bridge over a brook on a nice walk in the countryside. Like a giant, fucking steel-suspension bridge over a river of fuck right off.
Come on, Luc. Be the bigger man.
“I’m sorry if I spoiled your big day,” I tried. I know all the internet rules say you’re not supposed to begin an apology with I’m sorry if, but it was what he was getting.
JoJo laughed. It seemed like a sincere laugh, which was more than I’d expected. “Sweetheart, I was marrying the man I love in a big party filled with all my friends plus a bunch of other people who aren’t my friends but were still telling me how amazing I was. One slightly mean conversation wasn’t going to ruin that.”
Oh. Okay. “So why are you here?”
“Just to say…” JoJo stared down at his immaculately manicured nails. “Just to say that…I suppose…I suppose I get it?”
Was I offended by that? I thought I was at least a little bit offended by that. Because this guy was twelve and trying to tell me he knew what it was like to get betrayed and abandoned by the fucker he’d just married. Although, now I thought about it, JoJo wasn’t that much older than I’d been when I’d dated Miles. Of course, Miles was now substantially older than he’d been when he’d dated me, which was why I felt justified taking the piss. The thing was, though, I hadn’t felt young at the time. I’d felt pretty grown-up.
And here was JoJo, looking at me with the confidence of a young man who didn’t quite realise how young he seemed to other people.