“So then, when I read your notes and I realized that you did—that you saw me, that you thought about me so much, that you noticed me—God, I thought I’d won. But it didn’t feel the way it was supposed to. And that pissed me off. And I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t enough, and then I read your last card and I realized that I didn’t just want you to see me. I wanted someone who sees me, and I wanted it to be you, because I think I always knew you were the only one it could be.”
After a long pause, Shara says, “Can I talk now?”
“Yes.”
“So. To summarize. You’re not rejecting me.”
“Correct,” Chloe confirms. “In fact, if you kissed me right now, I would probably die.”
“Really this time?” Shara says.
“Really.”
“No more games?”
“I promise if you promise.”
“Okay,” Shara says.
She steps closer. Chloe can feel the warmth of her body now. She wonders if Shara can feel hers too.
“Okay, then. Wow.”
The fuzz of Shara’s robe brushes against Chloe’s skin.
“Wow,” Chloe agrees.
When Shara lifts her hand, Chloe sees it splayed open in the grass outside her bedroom window. She （slowly, tentatively） touches the side of Chloe’s face, and Chloe feels the cool press of a sailboat railing. She could close her eyes and hear the fluorescent hum of elevator lights. Shara searches her face with the wary, reverent interest of stumbling upon a poem in an English textbook that breaks your heart open in the middle of class. Chloe knows that feeling. She knows Shara knows it too.
She tips her head forward, and Shara kisses her. Chloe puts her arms around Shara’s neck and kisses her back.
They’re standing in Shara’s bedroom, but they’re two blocks over at the clubhouse. She’s in Benjy’s T-shirt, but she’s in black chiffon and lace with her hair set in waves. Shara’s in her bathrobe, but she’s in a tiara under a dance floor chandelier, and there’s the distant, dreamy echo of a slow electric guitar, and they’re swaying to the last song of the night. Shara sighs, and the balloons drop.
It’s a prom night they never had, and she’s found the only person like her in a small town the size of the world, and they’re alone in a quiet room kissing in front of God and everybody.
Someone calls Shara’s name from downstairs.
“Let’s go!” Shara’s mom yells. “We’re supposed to be bringing cookies! We gotta stop at the store on the way to church!”
Shara breaks off, eyes wide.
Chloe whispers, “My car’s around the corner.”
One second of consideration, two, and then Shara calls out, “I’m almost done with my hair! Hang on!”
She throws off her robe and grabs a pair of sneakers, spinning around to show Chloe the open back of her dress.
“Zip me up.”
When Chloe reaches for the zipper, her fingertips graze warm skin, and her heart is five million bits of stage glitter swirling in an overture spotlight, and then Shara’s stomping her sneakers on and climbing over the windowsill. She pauses at the top of the ladder and looks back at Chloe.
“Are you coming or what?”
“This was literally my idea!” Chloe hisses, but Shara’s already out of sight.
FROM THE BURN PILE
Rejected drafts of Shara’s final card for Chloe, scribbled in the margins of her notes for the Chem II exam Chloe,
You win. I hope that’s what you wanted.
Chloe,
Of all the things I’ve tried to hide under my pillow, you’ve got to be the most persistent.
Chloe,
There was this one weekend, a million summers ago, when I sat on the shore drinking a frozen limeade, and I realized the only thing I wanted to look at was the way the sun hit the girls swimming in the lake.
The problem has always been this: When I look at you, I taste lime, and I see light on water.
23
DAYS SINCE CHLOE CLIMBED THROUGH SHARA’S WINDOW （THE SECOND TIME）： 0
They jump the fence and take off running.
Shara’s fast when she wants to be, which Chloe probably should have expected. They clear Rory’s yard in seconds. As soon as they’re around the corner, Shara grabs her hand, and Chloe nearly shouts a laugh at the feeling of Shara’s fingers between hers. This is really happening, huh?
The dolphin fountain is overflowing now, spilling laundry suds all over the pristine grass and puddling around Chloe’s tires.
“Where are we going?” Shara asks her.