But Cauler’s a Boston boy, a die-hard Bruins fan, and watching the way he sits on the very edge of the couch, leaning forward, ready to jump out of his seat at any moment and scream in rage or excitement is almost enough to make me a Bruins fan myself. And that is utter blasphemy coming from a Buffalonian. I watch Cauler more than the game, keeping my face forward while my eyes wander to the spectacle that is Jaysen Caulfield riled up on hockey.
I just wish he would pause for a second and check his damn phone. He’s practically levitating from the adrenaline, shaking Colie by the shoulder and shouting, “Shoot the puck, holy shit, you had a wide-open lane!”
“It’s not gonna happen, Cauler,” Colie says seriously. “The Sabres’ PK is filthy this year, and the Bruins’ powerplay’s been lacking.”
“It’s a five on three, you mother—AH!” Cauler shoves Colie before putting both hands on top of his head. “Are you kidding me? How did he miss that! God, I’d trade him for a fucking camel right now.”
Dorian snorts and Barbie says, “Really, Cauler? A camel?”
“Don’t start with me, Barboza.” Cauler points a finger in our direction without looking over.
“Dream bigger, Cauler,” Sierra says. “They could at least get a fifth-round pick for him.”
“Um, excuse me?” Barbie sounds genuinely offended. “You saying I’m not worth more than that?”
Sierra throws her head back in laughter, knocking into my knees. She leans forward and rubs the back of her head, still laughing. “Sorry, bro. Forgot you were a fifth-rounder.”
“I might be a fifth-rounder but I still wouldn’t’ve missed that shot. Seriously, he had the top, like, eighty percent of the net.”
“Pretty sure you missed a shot on a completely empty net before, Barbs,” Dorian reminds him. “Like, the goalie was pulled and everything.”
“In bantam! This guy’s supposed to be a professional!”
They keep arguing over my head, but I tune it out when Cauler leans back into the couch with a sigh, finally checking his phone. He doesn’t look at me when he reads the message, but his eyebrows come together and he frowns as he types something. A moment later, my phone vibrates in my hands. I sink down and pull it close to my face so Dorian and Barbie can’t read over my shoulder.
Jaysen: That sounds ominous
Mickey: Ok not horrible like seriously horrible
Just horrible in a cringey kind of way
Attic?
I have to fight my way off the couch between the alcohol and the bodies pressed all around me, but they’re too busy arguing to say anything about me leaving. I stop by the kitchen to sneak another shot behind Delilah’s back before heading upstairs. Cauler takes his time, making our mutual disappearance a little less suspicious. He slides into the attic silently, glasses slipping down his nose and his hat crooked. I can’t help but think of that insult game we played up here. It’s only been a couple months, but I couldn’t even imagine saying things like that to him now.
Cauler smiles as he presses me down into the couch with a hard kiss and rough hands under my shirt. The same couch we woke up on together after that party.
We have to take these moments when we can get them. It’s straight-up torture how much time we spend together unable to touch each other. We’re with each other for hours at a time every single day, but never alone like this.
It’d be easy to get carried away, but Cauler pushes off me after a few minutes, sitting cross-legged on the couch next to me. “Let’s see this cringe material.”
I sit up, tucking a leg under me and adjusting my hat as a wave of dizziness surges through my head. I rub my eyes and blink a few times before it passes, then pull out my phone and bring up the fic.
Cauler traces a finger around my knee as it loads.
Maybe I shouldn’t show him. What if it scares him off? Just the thought of people shipping us for their own entertainment feels a little dangerous when it hits that close to the truth. Like every one of our public interactions’ll be scrutinized to the point where someone will figure us out.
But who am I kidding? What we’re doing doesn’t make for an epic fantasy love story. There’s nothing close to the truth about it.
I hand my phone off to Cauler and rest my head on the back of the couch to watch his face as he reads. As soon as he sees the site, his eyebrows go up. “You find Kovy’s Dragon Age fics?”
He goes back to reading before I can answer, his face going through phases of confusion, understanding, and then … Absolute. Joy. He gives me the most ridiculous smile I’ve ever seen on him, his nose scrunched up and his eyes half-closed. My heart feels like it’s trying to compress itself into nonexistence.