The church lights dimmed. Candlelight flickered as the congregation passed the flame from one person’s candle to the next, down the rows of pews. Eve squirmed in her seat, longing for the service to end, the hymns that told of God’s love to fall silent. Guilt and shame snaked through her. How dare she come into God’s house and pretend to worship? The people around her didn’t know she was a fraud and an adulteress, but God knew.
It had been the same at the Christmas party at the Barretts’ country club a few evenings ago. Then too, Eve had tried to beg off, knowing she was a fraud, insisting she had nothing to wear. “Clothing and shoes were rationed during the war, Mrs. Barrett, and very hard to come by. That’s why everything in my suitcase is so shabby and worn-out.” She had worried that the servants would notice the cheap quality of her wardrobe when they washed her laundry and would expose her secret. So far, they hadn’t.
“Then we’ll simply have to go to New York on a shopping trip,” Mrs. Barrett had replied. “Father can tell you how much I adore shopping!” She purchased a full wardrobe for Eve, everything from hats and shoes to knickers and nylons. She took Eve to the hairdresser for a stylish cut. They had manicures together.
The party at the country club terrified her—and Eve wasn’t easily frightened. Since adopting Audrey’s name, she had become an actress, mimicking Audrey’s speech, her ladylike gestures, her manners. It had been one thing to dress up and play Cinderella for one evening at the Savoy with Alfie, another thing to play this role for the rest of her life. She had nothing in common with the other country-club women who talked about their summer homes on the shore, tennis matches, sailing on Long Island Sound. They went on skiing trips to Vail and Switzerland. They’d earned degrees from prestigious women’s colleges like Vassar and Radcliffe. They would excuse Eve’s shyness as that of a recent widow, newly arrived in America, for now. But sooner or later she would have to adopt their lifestyle.
The Christmas party had exhausted her, and it was only the first of many. The church service drained her as well. She crept into Harry’s nursery when she returned home and bent over his crib to kiss him. Only then did the suffocating weight begin to lift. She remembered how Audrey had grabbed her hand in the training shed and led her through the fog and out into the light. Eve missed her friend.
On Christmas Day, Eve sat beside the glittering Christmas tree in the Barretts’ formal living room, inhaling the scent of pine and opening the mountain of expensive presents Robert’s parents had purchased for her and Harry. The tree would have filled Granny Maud’s entire cottage. Eve remembered being grateful for hand-knit mittens at Christmas. An orange. A few sticks of penny candy. America’s prosperity astounded her. There were no piles of rubble where homes once stood, no queues for food, no shortages. Soldiers like Robert and Louis had returned home to civilian life as if the war had never happened.
Mrs. Barrett laughed with delight as little Harry—Robbie—watched the electric train that had once been Robert’s steam in a circle beneath the tree. Mr. Barrett sat on the floor with Robbie on his lap, manning the controls. Eve had planned to simply get her bearings in America and then move on, find a job, rent a flat, work hard to support her son and herself. But Robert was the Barretts’ only child. They asked Eve to call them Mom and Dad. They promised her a good life, and in the three months she’d been here, they’d kept that promise. They would be devastated if Eve moved away with Robbie. Their grief had overwhelmed them until Eve and Robbie arrived, bringing a reason to laugh again. Eve knew she was trapped—but it was a very comfortable trap. She would stay trapped for her son’s sake.
The Barretts had driven Eve out to the little tract home that Robert had begun building in a nearby housing development. “It will be finished before Robbie’s first birthday in June,” they told her. “You can live with us until it’s done.” She drove Robert’s car. She had money in the bank from Robert’s life insurance policy. The Barretts set up a college fund for Robbie. Eve would never have to work another day in her life.
She watched the little train chugging in circles and pushed aside her lingering guilt, determined to enjoy her first Christmas in America.
When the doorbell rang, Mrs. Barrett rose to answer it, since the servants had Christmas Day off. “Someone’s here to see you, Audrey,” she called. “You and Robbie.”
“To see me?” Fear made Eve’s voice squeak. After going three months without being discovered, she had dared to believe she would get away with the deception. She scooped up Robbie, her stomach twisting as she walked to the door, steeling herself to face uniformed police officers, US government officials, British authorities. Instead, she found a gangly, friendly-looking young man her own age in a plaid wool overcoat. He pulled off a knit stocking cap, and his light-brown hair stood on end from the static. He had warm hazel eyes and such a boyish smile, Eve had to fight the urge to smooth down his hair for him.