What the hell? Were we strangers now? How could she be so cool when I was losing my mind?
“Winnie, wait.” I jumped off the porch and chased after her, catching her arm halfway down the walk.
“What?” She pulled her arm from my grasp but turned to face me. “I—I’m running late. I have to meet Ellie.”
I struggled for words. Shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “Can I see you later tonight?”
She shook her head. “No, Dex.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m trying to move on from you. And spending time alone with you after dark won’t help.”
“But I’ve missed you.” It was torture to keep myself from embracing her. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
“I’ve missed you too.” Her eyes filled, and she blinked back tears. “But the answer is still no.”
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” I said angrily. “You were the one who told me not to fall in love with you. You said no love, no happily ever after, and no Frostys.”
“I know.” Her shoulders rose and her tears fell. “I wasn’t supposed to love you either, Dex. I thought I could be with you and guard my heart, but suddenly I looked and it was gone. Same old story.”
“No.” I took her by the shoulders. “I am not those other guys. You don’t get it. If I was younger, if I thought I could offer you any kind of future, I would.”
“So what exactly are you offering me right now?” She laughed bitterly. “A night? A weekend? A quickie?”
“I don’t know,” I said desperately. “I just know I can’t see you and not want to be with you. I told you I loved you, Winnie. Isn’t that enough?”
“No.” Wrenching free from my arms, she took a step back. “I want more than that. I want someone who isn’t afraid to take a chance on a future with me. I want someone who doesn’t hide behind excuses. And I want the fucking Frostys.”
I couldn’t argue with her. But I couldn’t bring myself to take the chance she was asking for either.
When I said nothing, she rushed to her mom’s car, jumped in, and took off.
Frustrated, I glared at her taillights and stood there a full two minutes after she left.
Then I stomped over to my car like an angry toddler, got in, and slammed the door. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I gripped the steering wheel with both hands and breathed hard through my nose. I felt like what I wanted was right in front of me, but I couldn’t reach it. It was like fucking Freddie Purrcury in my dream—just when I was close enough to reach him, he hopped to the next branch.
“Fucking women and cats,” I muttered, opening the garage and pulling in. “They’re impossible.”
I spent another restless night staring at my ceiling, burying my head beneath my pillow, and trying not to think about the fact just a few weeks ago, she’d been right here next to me. I missed her with an ache I hadn’t felt since losing my mom.
But I refused to pick up the phone and reach out to her. There was no point. I was never going to be that guy she described, and she wouldn’t come near me otherwise.
I just had to get through Sunday, and try to forget about her.
The following afternoon I was still sitting around my place feeling sorry for myself when I got a text from Chip.
Hey, I’m in town unexpectedly. Time for a beer?
Definitely.
Name the time and place and I’ll be there.
Let’s meet up at Southpaw Brewing Co at 5:00.
Relieved to have something to do tonight, I sent back a thumbs up and went upstairs to take a shower.
Just before five, I walked into Southpaw Brewing Co., which was owned by Tyler Shaw. In a couple hours, it would be packed, but since it was still early, I was able to find a seat at the bar. After looking over the menu, I ordered a Knuckleball Ale and a basket of wings. I’d just taken my first sip when Chip showed up, clapping me on the shoulder before dropping onto the stool next to me.
“Hey man,” he said. “Good to see you.”
“You too. How’d you end up in town?”
“Mariah and I decided to run up here and check out some possible wedding spots.” He signaled the bartender and ordered a Bandbox IPA. “We saw several today, and then April took her over to a bridal shop just for fun. Thankfully, I was excused.”
“So when’s the wedding?”
“We’re thinking early February, although we could do later that month since I won’t have to be at spring training.”