“Uh huh!”
“It must have been the steam that set off your smoke detector.”
“Yes, it happens sometimes when I forget to open the windows in here.”
“It’s good that it’s sensitive, but open them now, okay? I should hook this back up.”
“I will.”
I hesitated, then spoke again. “Sorry to barge in on you like that. I’m a firefighter and a dad, so I take smoke detectors seriously. They’re kind of my thing.”
“Haha, it’s okay!” She was still trying to sound brave and cheerful, but her voice cracked, making me smile again.
Clearly, she was not going to risk looking me in the eye after I’d seen her naked, and I couldn’t really blame her. After making sure both windows in her bedroom were open, I reconnected the battery in the detector. Then I went over to the door and spoke through it once more. “I reconnected it. I’ll lock the door on my way out.”
“Thank you!”
“Okay, girls. Let’s go.” I glanced around quickly before herding the girls from her room—walls painted a soft gray, neatly made bed with a white comforter, ten thousand pillows in every shade of pink, fuzzy white rug on the wooden floor. Would have been nice if she’d landed on that rug when she hit the ground, but she’d gone down just beyond it.
As we went down the stairs, I couldn’t help chuckling as I recalled her mad dash for the bathroom on her hands and knees. I’d never seen anyone crawl that fast—not even the kindergartners during the home escape and exit drills when they came to the station for a fire-rescue visit. But I felt bad for her—she was going to have a hell of a bruise on that hip.
Shoving the memory of her bare ass from my mind, I hurried out the door, making sure it locked behind me.
“Was the noise from her smoke alarm?” Luna asked as we walked back to our place.
“Yes.”
“How come the alarm went off if there was no fire?” Hallie asked. “Was it like a drill?”
“No, it was the steam from her shower. But it’s good that the alarm went off, because that means it’s working. That reminds me—first thing tomorrow, we make our emergency plan and set a meeting spot, okay?”
“Okay.”
I opened the screen door to our place—they hadn’t even bothered to shut the big door—and shooed them inside. “We will also talk about what the consequences will be for not doing what I say.”
They nodded solemnly as we went up the stairs.
“I still can’t believe we saw her bum,” Hallie whispered to Luna.
“That’s enough.” I swatted her backside lightly before ushering them into their bedroom. “I have to get cleaned up, so comb your hair, find your shoes, and be ready to go in ten minutes.”
“But I need help, Daddy,” said Luna. “I can’t get the tangles out by myself.”
“Baby,” snickered Hallie, grabbing her brush and easily pulling it through her smooth, damp hair.
“Shut up! Yours is just easier because it’s straight!”
“Stop,” I ordered, dropping onto the foot of Hallie’s bed. “Bring me the comb, Loony Toon. I’ll do it. I’m awesome at getting tangles out of hair.”
“But not gum,” Hallie said.
I picked up a stuffed animal—a penguin she called Rupert—and threw it at her. When it hit the floor, I heard a coin go rolling beneath the dresser.
“My lucky penny!” Hallie dove for it, reaching under the dresser where it had rolled. “I forgot I put it in the hole in Rupert’s belly last night!”
“I get a point back for finding it.” I took the comb from Luna’s hand and started working through the tangles from the bottom.
“I don’t know if that counts as finding it,” said Hallie, “but okay.”
“So ten out of ten for today?”
“I guess,” she said, like she was doing me a favor.
I pumped my fist. “Fuck yeah.”
“That’s another dollar, Daddy,” Luna said. “Remember the swear jar.”
“There’s no way I’m having a swear jar in this house, girls. I’ll go broke.”
“Or maybe you’ll stop swearing,” Hallie said.
I leveled her with a look. “Not. Fucking. Likely.”
But later on, when I went into the kitchen to grab my keys, I noticed one of the girls—or maybe both of them—had taken the cupcake box out of the fridge while I was in the shower and written on top of it DADDYS SWAIR BOX （MONEY FOR FUCHUR CAT）。