“How’s the first week of school going for the girls?” Bree asked.
“Good.” The tension in my jaw eased a little. “They really like their teachers, and Naomi says Hallie hasn’t had any anxious mornings.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful.”
“Did I tell you they conned me into getting a cat?”
Bree laughed. “How’d they manage that?”
“They ganged up on me. Sneak attack. But it turns out a cat will be fine alone for twenty-four hours, so I won’t need anyone to feed her while I’m at work.” I paused. “Although Winnie offered to feed her.”
My sister glanced at me. “How’s that going?”
“Fine.”
“Justin said you were going to apologize to her for something you said.”
“Justin has a big mouth,” I muttered.
“Well, it was obvious something was wrong on Monday. I didn’t need to be told that. I just wondered what it was.”
I exhaled. “I was a dick. I said I was sorry. It’s done.”
“What were you a dick about?”
“None of your beeswax,” I said.
“Let me guess.” Lifting herself on the arms of the chair, Bree tucked her legs beneath her. “She noticed you acting like a bear with a thorn in his paw and asked what was wrong, and you gave her the finger and told her to mind her own beeswax.”
“Something like that,” I said with a one-shouldered shrug.
“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to tell the truth every once in a while when someone asks if you’re okay.”
I clenched my jaw again. “I made it right with her.”
“Good. So when will you get this cat?”
“Not sure. I don’t know how long the adoption process is or even where to go, but Winnie knows a few places.” Her name was out of my mouth before I could think.
My sister shook her head. “You’re really gonna be lost without her when she moves away, aren’t you?”
“I’ll be just fine.” But I shifted in my chair, and the silence that followed bothered me.
“So what was it you wanted to talk about?”
“Dad, I guess. Did you see him?”
“Not yet. But we spoke again on the phone.”
I kept my focus straight ahead and said nothing. Part of me was curious about the conversation, but I refused to ask.
Bree sighed. “I’ve decided I’m going to visit him next weekend. But you don’t have to see him, Dex. I know he was much harder on you, and your memories are different than mine.”
“I know I don’t have to see him,” I said. “But I’m having a hard time letting you do this alone.”
From the corner of my eye, I saw her smile. “Aw. You love me.”
“Occasionally,” I grumbled.
“Well, that’s sweet. But I thought about it and talked it over with Justin, and I decided if I’m going to do this, I’m not going to do it hiding behind my big brother.”
“And you’re ready to forgive him for everything?”
“I don’t know, Dex. But it doesn’t do much good to keep hanging on to this shit, does it? Why not let it go before he’s gone forever and you lose the chance?”
“I just don’t think I can,” I said stubbornly.
“Well, I need to at least try. But I can handle this on my own. You don’t even have to hear about it if you don’t want to.”
“Fine.”
I stayed just long enough to see the kids when they woke up and give Justin shit about his long-ass lawn—he was equally relentless about my tight shirt—and then I headed home.
Feeling restless and agitated, I decided to take a run. It didn’t sit right with me, the way my sister seemed able to stare down demons I couldn’t. I didn’t like thinking of myself as the kind of guy who avoided a challenge. Tyler had mentioned my tough mental mettle from my days on the high school team, and it was true—I’d learned to put my feelings aside and focus on the game. I never brought any bullshit onto the field. That kind of machine-like ability to focus on the job at hand—show up, get it done, and get out—had served me well as a SEAL too. And now as a firefighter.
Five miles later, I returned home and put myself through some strength and core exercises on the lawn just beyond my patio. Pushing myself hard felt good.
After my final push-up, I collapsed on the grass, rolling onto my back. The late afternoon sun was bright in my eyes, and I closed them, breathing hard. A few seconds later, a shadow fell over my face. I opened my eyes, shading them with my hand.