“Are you—？” I make a show of looking around, over my shoulders. “I’m sorry, which friends are you referring to? Because as far as I know, Warner doesn’t have any.”
Castle narrows his eyes at me. “Don’t do this,” he says. “Don’t deny your own emotional intelligence in favor of petty grievances. You know better. Be better. If you care about him at all, you will sacrifice your pride to reach out to him. Make sure he’s okay.”
“Why do you have to make it sound so dramatic?” I say, looking away. “It’s not that big of a deal. He’ll survive.”
Castle rests his hand on my shoulder. Forces me to meet his eyes. “No,” he says to me. “He might not.”
I wait until Castle is gone before I finally set down my fork. I’m irritated, but I know he’s right. I mumble a general good-bye to my friends as I push away from the table, but not before I notice Brendan smiling triumphantly in my direction. I’m about to give him shit for it, but then I notice, with a start, that Winston has turned a shade of pink so magnificent you could probably see it from space.
And then, there it is: Brendan is holding Winston’s hand under the table.
I gasp, audibly.
“Shut up,” Winston says. “I don’t want to hear it.”
My enthusiasm withers. “You don’t want to hear me say congratulations?”
“No, I don’t want to hear you say I told you so.”
“Yes, but I did fucking tell you so, didn’t I?” A wave of happiness moves through me, conjures a smile. I didn’t know I still had it in me.
Joy.
“I’m so happy for you guys,” I say. “Truly. You just made this shitty day so much better.”
Winston looks up, suspicious. But Brendan beams at me.
I stab a finger in their direction. “But if you two turn into Adam and Juliette clones I swear to God I will lose my mind.”
Brendan’s eyes go wide. Winston turns purple.
“Kidding!” I say. “I’m just kidding! Obviously I’m super happy for you two!” After a dead beat, I clear my throat. “No but seriously, though.”
“Fuck off, Kenji.”
“Yup.” I shoot a finger gun at Winston. “You got it.”
“Kenji,” I hear Castle call out. “Language.”
I swivel around, surprised. I thought Castle was gone. “It wasn’t me!” I shout back. “For the first time, I swear, it wasn’t me!”
I see only the back of Castle’s head as he turns away, but somehow, I can tell he’s still annoyed.
I shake my head. I can’t stop smiling.
It’s time to regroup.
Pick up the pieces. Keep going. Find J. Find Adam. Tear down The Reestablishment, once and for all. And the truth is—we’re going to need Warner’s help. Which means Castle is right, I need to talk to Warner. Shit.
I look back at my friends.
Lily’s got her head on Ian’s shoulder, and he’s trying to hide his smile. Winston flips me off, but he’s laughing. Brendan pops another piece of potato in his mouth and shoos me away.
“Go on, then.”
“All right, all right,” I say. But just as I’m about to take the necessary steps forward, I’m saved yet again.
Alia comes running toward me, her face lit in an expression of happiness I rarely see on her. It’s transformative. Hell, she’s glowing. It’s easy to lose track of Alia, who’s quiet in both voice and presence. But when she smiles like that— She looks beautiful.
“James is awake,” she says, nearly out of breath. She’s squeezing my arm so hard it’s cutting off my circulation.
I don’t care.
I’d been carrying this tension for almost two weeks now. Worrying, all this time, about James and whether he was okay. When I saw him for the first time the other day, bound and gagged by Anderson, I felt my knees give out. We had no idea how he was doing or what kind of trauma he’d sustained. But if the girls are letting him have visitors— That’s got to be a good sign.
I send up silent thanks to anyone who might be listening. Mom. Dad. Ghosts. I’m grateful.
Alia is half dragging me down the hall, and even though her physical effort isn’t necessary, I let her do it. She seems so excited I don’t have the heart to stop her.
“James is officially up and ready for visitors,” she says, “and he asked to see you.”
ELLA
JULIETTE
When I wake, I am cold.