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Imagine Me (Shatter Me #6)(67)

Author:Tahereh Mafi

Nouria shakes her head. “You don’t know that, Dad.”

“Maybe not,” he says quietly. “But it’s what I believe.”

“Is that what you believe about me, too?” Warner asks. “Is that what you told her? That I was just a nice boy, a defenseless child who’d never lift a finger to hurt her? That if I could do it all over again I’d choose to live my life as a monk, dedicating my days to giving charity and spreading goodwill?”

“No,” Castle says sharply. It’s clear he’s starting to get irritated. “I told her that your anger was a defense mechanism, and that you couldn’t help that you were born to an abusive father. I told her that in your heart, you’re a good person, and that you don’t want to hurt anyone. Not really.”

Warner’s eyes flash. “I want to hurt people all the time,” he says. “Sometimes I can’t sleep at night because I’m thinking about all the people I’d like to murder.”

“Great.” I nod, leaning back in my chair. “This is super great. All of this information we’re collecting is super helpful and useful.” I count off on my fingers: “Amelia was a psycho, Castle wants to be BFFs with Anderson, Warner has midnight fantasies about killing people, and Castle made Amelia think that Warner is a lost little bunny trying to find his way home.”

When everyone stares at me, confused, I clarify:

“Castle basically gave Amelia the idea that she could walk into a room and murder Warner! He pretty much told her that Warner was about as harmful as a dumpling.”

“Oh,” Sam and Nouria say at the same time.

“I don’t think she wanted to murder him,” Castle says quickly. “I’m sure she just—”

“Dad, please.” Nouria’s voice is sharp and final. “Enough.” She shares a glance with Sam, and takes a deep breath.

“Listen,” she says, trying for a calmer tone. “We knew, when you got here, that we’d have to deal with this situation eventually, but I think it’s time we had a talk about our roles and responsibilities around here.”

“Oh. I see.” Castle clasps his hands. Stares at the wall. He looks so sad and small and ancient. Even his dreads seem more silver than black these days. Sometimes I forget he’s almost fifty. Most people think he’s, like, fifteen years younger than he actually is, but that’s just because he’s always looked really, really good for his age. But for the first time in years, I feel like I’m beginning to see the number on his face. He looks tired. Worn out.

But that doesn’t mean he’s done here.

Castle’s still got so much more to do. So much more to give. And I can’t just sit here and let him be shoved aside. Ignored. I want to shout at someone. I want to tell Nouria and Sam that they can’t just kick Castle to the curb like this. Not after everything. Not like this.

And I’m about to say something exactly like that, when Nouria speaks.

“Sam and I,” she says, “would like to offer you an official position as our senior adviser here at the Sanctuary.”

Castle’s head perks up. “Senior adviser?” He stares at Nouria. Stares at Sam. “You’re not asking me to leave?”

Nouria looks suddenly confused.

“Leave? Dad, you just got here. Sam and I want you to stay for as long as you like. We just think it’s important that we all know what we’re doing here, so that we can manage things in as efficient and organized a manner as possible. It’s hard for Sam and me to be effective at our jobs if we’re worried about tiptoeing around your feelings, and even though it’s hard to have conversations like this, we figured it would be best to jus—”

Castle pulls Nouria into a hug so fierce, so full of love, I feel my eyes sting with emotion. I actually have to look away for a moment.

When I turn back, Castle is beaming.

“I’d be honored to advise in any way that I can,” Castle says. “And if I haven’t said it enough, let me say it again: I’m so proud of you, Nouria. So proud of both of you,” he says, looking at Sam. “The boys would’ve been so proud.”

Nouria’s eyes go glassy with emotion. Even Sam seems moved.

One more minute of this, and I’m going to need a tissue.

“Right, well.” Warner is on his feet. “I’m glad the attempt on my life was able to bring your family together. I’m leaving now.”

“Wait—” I grab Warner’s arm and he shoves me off.

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