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Impossible to Forget(25)

Author:Imogen Clark

They chatted easily, the four of them. The housemates did get on all right when they were just three, but the addition of Tiger to their number seemed to release something that was generally lacking between them, a kind of ease with one another that wasn’t usually there.

When the chilli was ready, Angie cracked open a bottle of cheap red wine and they sat with plates on their knees to enjoy it.

‘How’s it going with the sax?’ Tiger asked Leon as he wiped his plate clean with a slice of white bread.

‘Oh God, Tiger,’ interrupted Angie. ‘You have to tell him. He barely touches the thing outside the house. All that talent and it’s just going to waste. He has to go to America and make his fortune. You have to go, Lee,’ she added, turning to Leon.

Leon shrugged. ‘Yeah, maybe one day. But I’ve got this degree to do first.’

This was an old argument and Angie seemed to realise that he was stuck on this course of action. ‘Yes. But after that . . .’ she tried.

‘She’s right,’ said Tiger. ‘You should do it.’

Leon looked down at his plate. ‘It’s all right for you two,’ he said. ‘You do as you please and make it look so easy. But I’m . . . Well, I’m not really like that. I want to get a job, a mortgage, you know, all that boring stuff our parents did.’

‘Not so much my parents,’ said Angie wryly.

Angie never talked about her home life and Maggie wondered if now, with Tiger here and the second bottle of wine open, might be the moment. It seemed it was just a passing comment, though, and Angie continued along the path she had been on.

‘But why, Leon?’ she asked, as if he had suggested that he wanted to spend his life standing in a bucket of cold water. ‘There’s time for all that. In the future.’ She waved a hand at some mythical time to come. ‘What about NOW? You need to grab life with both hands and hold on to it tight.’

Leon was looking increasingly uncomfortable and Maggie felt the need to leap in to defend him.

‘Actually, I know what Leon means,’ she said. ‘I’m the same. I just want to get through this and then get on with my career. I’m dying to start work as a solicitor.’

‘But that means you don’t get the most out of this part of your life,’ said Angie. ‘You’re so busy looking forward to what is to come that you’re missing what you have in the here and now.’

Maggie thought about her words and then dismissed them. It was something that she had considered and rejected before. For her, university was a means to an end. If she managed to have a good time on top then so much the better, but it really wasn’t the main reason for being there.

‘I’m fine,’ she said. ‘I’m perfectly happy in the here and now. I just have my eyes on the prize, that’s all.’ She turned to look at Angie. This apparent honesty between them all was new, and she didn’t want it to slip between her fingers. ‘And what about you, Ange?’ she asked. ‘What does the future look like for you?’

Angie considered for a moment, picking up her glass but then putting it down again without taking a drink. ‘Bright,’ she said. ‘My future looks bright.’

Maggie wasn’t sure how she could reach that conclusion based on the available evidence, but now wasn’t the time to question her reasoning.

‘And what do you see there?’ she pressed.

‘In my crystal ball, you mean?’ Angie said. She mimicked mist floating before her with her hands and rolled her eyes up into her head. ‘I have no idea. Which of us can see into the future? I just know that whatever I end up doing, it will be exactly the right thing for the time.’

Tiger nodded his head appreciatively at these words of wisdom, but Maggie was less convinced. She could see nothing on which to base a statement like that in Angie’s life so far. Everything was so haphazard, so accidental. The randomness of it made her shudder. But her own life? Now that was a different story. Structured, ordered, planned and going exactly as she wanted it to.

Having finished eating, Tiger swung his legs back up on to Maggie’s lap. They were even closer to one another now. She longed to put a hand on his thigh as it rested on hers, but knew that she couldn’t do it and make it look natural. She left her hands where they were at her sides, but then, as if he had read her mind, Tiger found her fingers with his. Maggie started at the unexpected contact, but then, relaxing a little, she allowed his thumb to explore her palm as she cast a sly glance at Leon and Angie to make sure that they hadn’t noticed the altered status quo. However, they were still laughing and seemed oblivious.

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