“No,” I said, even as I let him pull me down the hall to his and Mint’s room. “I don’t want to bother you.”
He opened the door and ushered me in. I couldn’t help the ghost of a smile, even now, in their room. It was the perfect representation of how different Mint and Coop were: one side was masculine brown and blue, expensive sheets, swimming trophies, everything neat. The other was band posters and bright-pink sheets, crap strewn everywhere.
“Trust me”—Coop planted me on his bed—“you’re far from bothering me.”
He dropped his keys on his desk and walked to the door. “Stay right there. I’m going to get us root beer and Red Vines so we can get some sugar in your system. Those are your favorites, right? You’re always eating Red Vines when you study.”
I nodded, trying to keep the tears inside.
“Okay, be right back. Seriously, don’t move.” Coop slipped out and shut the door behind him.
Alone, I let myself cry. I didn’t understand what I’d done wrong. During rush I’d tried to tell myself not to get my hopes up, tried to hedge my bets, but it didn’t matter: I’d wanted Chi O with my whole heart. I’d pictured walking around campus with those letters on my chest, letting everyone know where I stood. Imagined telling my dad I’d gotten into the top sorority on campus. Presenting him with the irrefutable evidence: Look who I am. So good. Other people saw it and gave me this as proof.
The door swung open and I jerked in surprise. But instead of Coop, Mint stood in the doorway, staring. I scrubbed the tears from my cheeks, fingers coming away black with mascara. Oh, god. The day was only getting worse.
“Sorry,” I said, jumping to my feet. “I was hanging with Coop. I’ll go.”
“Hold on.” Mint swung his backpack to the floor, dropping his coat on his desk. “You’re crying.” He peered closer. “It’s sorority Bid Day, right?”
Of course Mint knew about Bid Day. He, Jack, and Frankie started pledging Phi Delt next week. It was a relief he understood the significance of what I was going through, but also an embarrassment, because he hadn’t had any problems shooting straight to the top.
“Come on.” Mint sat on his perfectly made bed and patted the spot next to him. I walked across the room and sat, looking at him out of the corner of my eye.
“I didn’t get into Chi O,” I admitted, the words painful. “I really wanted it.”
“Of course you did. What’d you get?”
“Kappa.”
Mint knocked my knee with his. “Kappa’s a good one.”
I looked at him. How was it possible that even here, midday in a dingy dorm room, his eyes were so impossibly blue?
“You don’t have to lie to me. We both know Chi O’s the best. Courtney and Heather both got in.”
“Heather?”
I swung to face him. “I know, right? I don’t mean to be rude, but…” I stopped. It was eating at me, chewing a hole in my heart. I wanted to say it out loud, but I wasn’t sure how Mint would react. What if he told me to leave, then told Heather? I took a breath, then took the plunge. “Why her?”
Courtney, I understood—of course she got Chi O, she was born for it. But Heather? Heather was barely pretty. Her forehead was too big. She was short. It’s not like she had stellar grades or was so much more popular. Being part of the East House Seven gave Heather and me equal standing, or so I’d thought. She came from money—was that it? Or was it the power of her loud voice, her confidence, her outsized personality?
It was a terrible way to think. I loved Heather. She made me feel brave, like there was nothing we couldn’t do when we were together. But I just couldn’t stop picturing her jumping with Courtney, laughing and waving the card that should have been mine. What if our spots had gotten mixed up? What if I went to the Panhellenic president and opened an inquiry, and they realized their mistake? I envisioned the president taking Heather’s card from her and handing it to me, the rightful owner.
No. Obviously, I couldn’t do that. But I felt so helpless. I wanted to do something to take control, take away the pain. The vision of Heather’s happy face cut at me.
“Look,” Mint said, putting a hand on my leg. “Chi O made a mistake by not choosing you. Show them that.”
“How?” Where we touched, my skin tingled.
“Kappa is number two, right? All you have to do is take the number-one spot from Chi O. Rush harder. Beat them at their own game. I’ll help you.”