Another couple on a blanket are already kissing. He moves to New York.
We spend the next hour like this. I see all the things I expect to. A lot of sweet beginnings. A lot of bitter endings. Affairs, deaths, illnesses, disenchantment and boredom.
After a while I can’t take any more, and stop us.
People have certain tells when they’re about to kiss: a light hand on a shoulder, or a touch to a waist, or a subtle closing down of the distance between bodies. The only way to live with this curse is to avoid seeing kisses in the first place. I need to learn to look away in time.
“Maybe you could tell them about the visions and what’s going to happen,” Martin says. He’s talking about Sophie and Cassidy, but I know he doesn’t really mean it. He’s just as confused and frustrated as I am. It would be cruel to tell them what’s going to happen to them. I’d be taking away their happiness.
I shake my head. “They’d never believe me.” Couples in love believe they’ll always be in love. It’s one of the ways you know you’re in love in the first place.
“Can’t you just pretend you don’t know?”
“Martin, you didn’t see what I saw. It’s awful. They’re going to make each other so sad. Also, the biggest problem isn’t that they break up. The problem is that they’re going to break us all up. The four of us are not going to be friends anymore. No more epic road trip. No more group chats. No college spring breaks. No more anything.”
“Yeah, I get it,” he says. He looks back out at the couples in the park. “Don’t they all seem so happy?”
I know what he means. After every vision, I study each couple to see if I can catch a glimpse of what’s to come for them, but I can’t find any evidence. Right now, in the same park as the doomed mammoths, they’re happy.
My phone buzzes. It’s X. I show Martin the phone and he makes a swoony face at me. I jab him with my elbow.
X: Hey
Me: Hi
X: You busy?
Me: Not really
X: Want to go out?
Me: When?
X: now
I tilt the phone so Martin can read my screen. “You should go,” he says.
“It’s probably a bad idea.” I gesture out to the park, to all the couples whose visions I just watched and explained.
“Eves,” he says. “Don’t you think it counts for something that they’re happy now?”
I don’t know.
Maybe?
My phone buzzes again.
X: Or we can go some other time
I show Martin my phone again. “You gave him infinity on a one-to-ten kissing scale. How’s this even a question?” he asks. “Text him back.”
Me: We can go now
Me: Now’s good
X: Great
X: Where should we go? Your turn to choose
Me: Why’s it my turn?
X: I chose the lalaland tour and my show
X: You only chose the bonfire
X: So…two dates to one…your turn
Me: Those weren’t dates
Me: They were hangouts
Me: Because of Fifi
X: Ahh I see
What does he see? I wonder.
X: So want to “hang out” again in an hour?
X: Text me where you want to go and I’ll meet you there
Me: Ok
“You’ve got it bad,” Martin says.
“It’s not a rash,” I tell him.
I bike home, change and then head back out. My stomach does somersaults of increasing complexity as I ride to meet X. What am I even doing? I wonder. Two nights ago I told Dad I wouldn’t come to his wedding. I compared falling in love to jumping off a cliff. And just last night I told Sophie and Cassidy that all relationships end.
Hypocrite, thy name is Evie.
I press my fingers to my lips and hope I’m wrong about just how deadly the fall is.
CHAPTER 31
Definitely a Date
“WE’RE PLAYING POOL?” X asks as he walks up to where I’m standing underneath the sign for Wilshire Billiards.
“You don’t want to?” I wasn’t sure where to choose for our first official hangout/date/whatever we’re calling it. Now I’m nervous he won’t like it.
He stops a couple of feet away from me. “No, I’m just surprised, is all,” he says.
We stare at each other. It’s awkward and weirdly thrilling at the same time. The last time we saw each other there was kissing, but since we haven’t decided what the kissing meant, neither of us knows what to do with our hands. Or lips.
I wave at him. He waves back at me. From two feet away.
Finally, he starts laughing, and then I do too.