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Instructions for Dancing(74)

Author:Nicola Yoon

“Yes,” she says.

“When?” I ask, even though I know she won’t give me a straight answer.

“When you’re ready.”

I get on my bike.

“Take care of yourself, Evie,” she says as I ride away. And just like the first time, when I get to the end of the street and turn to look, she’s no longer there.

Dad’s wedding doesn’t start for another three hours. I wander through the streets on my bike. There are fewer petals on the jacaranda trees and jasmine bushes. The wet green smell of spring has been replaced by summer’s bright and smoky one.

I don’t know how long I ride around, only that it’s more time than I think it is, and less too. I keep hearing the old woman’s voice in my head.

It wasn’t supposed to be a curse.

I think back to all the visions I’ve seen.

There’s more love in each and every one than there is heartbreak.

When I get home, Danica does my makeup and lends me a chunky vintage necklace to go with the lavender dress. We kiss Mom goodbye and tell her we love her. She promises me she’s okay.

In the cab, I squeeze Danica’s hand. “I’m glad we’re doing this together,” I tell her.

“Me too,” she says.

CHAPTER 59

Do Us Part

AT THE CHURCH, it’s almost embarrassing how happy Dad is to see me.

More sweet than embarrassing, though.

He picks me up and spins me around. “I’m so thrilled you’re here, sweet pea.” He puts me back down. “Sorry, I keep forgetting not to—”

“No, it’s okay. You can call me that.”

He closes his eyes and drops his head. For a second it looks like he’s praying. He pulls me into another hug and squeezes tight. I squeeze him right back.

“Group hug,” yells Danica, who’s been hovering in the doorway.

By the time we’re done hugging, all three of us are a mess of tears.

Dani grabs my chin in one hand and clucks at me. We find a bathroom, and she pulls a mini emergency makeup kit from her purse. She operates on herself before operating on me. I check the mirror once she’s done. She’s a miracle worker. I am saved.

By the time we make it out to where everyone is, the pastor is already at the altar. We take our seats next to Aunt Collette.

And then it’s time.

The music begins. Dad walks up the aisle and takes his place in front of the pastor. His best man, Uncle Allan, and Shirley’s maid of honor are next. Then it’s Shirley’s mom, walking by herself. Next it’s Shirley’s bridesmaids, all ten of them. Once everyone is settled at the altar, the music stops.

Dad stares down the aisle, waiting.

Uncle Allan squeezes his shoulder.

Another few seconds pass before the wedding march begins. Everyone turns to look.

Except me. I watch Dad’s face instead. I don’t need to see Shirley to know when she’s arrived. I can see her presence on Dad’s face. He looks like someone who just can’t believe his luck.

Shirley reaches the altar and takes Dad’s hand. She looks beautiful. And also like a tiered cake.

As weddings go, this one is pretty traditional. The vows are the normal ones. They promise to love and obey. They promise to do it forever. There are some readings. Shirley’s mom sings a gospel song I don’t know. Her voice is beautiful.

The priest pronounces them man and wife. He tells Dad that he may kiss the bride.

I have a few seconds to decide.

I can choose to see their future.

I can choose to see how it ends, and maybe even when.

But at the last second, I close my eyes.

I close my eyes, and I pretend they have forever.

* * *

——

The reception is in a hotel ballroom twenty minutes away. Dani and I take the wedding shuttle together, along with Aunt Collette and Uncle Allan. I drink sparkling cider, eat hors d’oeuvres and listen to Dani critique the dresses of all the women in a kind way. She tells me the history of marriage as an institution. Mostly it sucked for women.

After a while, the wedding band gets everyone’s attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Larry Thomas.”

I have a moment where my heart breaks for Mom, the original Mrs. Thomas. But then I remember that she did what was best for everyone, including herself.

And then everyone is clapping and hooting.

Shirley is crying and Dad is wiping her tears. He tells her that he loves her and that he always will.

All that matters is that he feels it now.

All that matters is right now.

I turn to Dani. “I have to go,” I say.

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