I turned back to the canvas, and it occurred to me then that only a woman could have made this image. This was not a painting of temptation, but rather one of harassment and intimidation, a scene that could be taking place right now in nearly anyplace in the world. The painting operated around a schism, it represented two irreconcilable subjective positions: the man, who believed the scene to be one of ardor and seduction, and the woman, who had been plunged into a state of fear and humiliation. That schism, I now realized, was the true inconsistency animating the canvas, and the true object of Leyster’s gaze.
There you are. Startled, I turned. I had been so absorbed in the painting that I had not heard the sound of footfalls in the gallery. Jana stood in front of me. We hadn’t seen each other since we had met for dinner with Adriaan, over a month ago. She had been preoccupied with the exhibition, and although I had sent her several messages I had not heard from her until she called to insist that I attend the opening and the dinner after, her manner charming and blunt as ever. I told her I would be there, I had been missing Jana’s company and wanted to discuss Adriaan with her. Things had gone awry in the past month, and I had felt the shape and meaning of his absence begin to change.
The week had extended to two without explanation or anything more than the briefest of apologies. I was already feeling vulnerable when my disquiet was sharply compounded by another encounter with Kees. Less than a week after my first session with the former president, I was called into another meeting with the defense. The meeting itself passed without incident, but as I left the conference room Kees hurried down the corridor after me. As soon as he reached me he slowed to a walk, an expression of mild surprise on his face, as if he had happened upon me by chance and we had not just spent several hours together. Instinctively, I began walking a little faster. He kept pace beside me until I stopped and turned to face him, exasperated.
I only wanted to ask how you were, he said. He sounded affronted, and immediately I was made to feel as if I were overreacting. He clasped his hands together in a manner that was unnatural and then a little threatening. I imagine this is difficult for you.
It’s fine, I said curtly.
Is it? But perhaps you are right. He paused, eyes scanning my face avidly. Adriaan is unlikely to succeed. Gaby is very wrapped up in this new man of hers.
It was as if I had taken a blow to the chest. I don’t think I understand, I said.
Understand what? It’s as I said. He won’t win her back.
But he’s—
What, still in love with her? It certainly is a gesture, rushing off to Portugal. Gaby called me that very evening, she found the entire thing quite irrational and inconvenient, it seems her new man is prone to fits of jealousy. I recoiled a little as he repeated the phrase new man, his voice salacious and excitable. He shook his head and waggled his finger at me. He’s thrown a spanner in the works, our friend Adriaan, turning up as he has. And of course the children—he trailed off, evidently the children were a matter too pedestrian to be discussed.
I suppose the children must be happy to see him, I said. My mouth was dry, my words cold and halting.
Yes, well—children are, aren’t they? He rushed on, despite the fact that his words made little sense. But enough about Adriaan, he said with a grin as he lurched in my direction. I wondered if I could take you for a drink?
I was both deadened and amazed by the man’s audacity, his technique was remarkably repetitive, it was the same strategy every time, he capitalized on disorientation. The entire thing was so threadbare and at the same time it was not ineffective, I did find myself disoriented, if not in the way he hoped. I excused myself and hurried out of the building, collecting my bag from the security guard. I took out my phone and texted Adriaan, Are you okay? He wrote back at once, Yes, fine. And then nothing further.
I didn’t know what to do, still less what to believe. Adriaan had already told me that things with Gaby were complicated and as the days became weeks and now a full month it had of course occurred to me that the situation between them was becoming more rather than less entrenched. Was it possible that he had changed his mind? Wasn’t it possible that he had told me something less than the truth? This was not what I had hoped, I was now aware that I was in a precarious position. Had Jana asked me then how things were with Adriaan, I might have told her any number of things: that I didn’t really know, that I had moved into his apartment, that the entire thing was on the verge of fizzling out or close enough.
But she didn’t ask, at least not in that particular moment. She was accompanied by an elegant woman I did not recognize, stylishly dressed, the kind of woman I might have surreptitiously admired in the street. This is Eline, Jana said, I wanted you to meet. The woman smiled as she took my hand and although I was distracted I felt at once that I liked her. Were you very bored? Jana asked. I shook my head, No, I only became preoccupied with this painting, I pointed to the Leyster and said, Somehow I had never noticed it before.