I’m leaning against my door, watching her casually, as if this is completely normal first-date behavior.
“Atlas.” She says my name like it’s an apology and a question at the same time.
“It’s okay. You were tired.”
She grabs her phone and looks at the time. “Oh my God.” She leans forward, pressing her elbows into her thighs and her face into her palms. “I can’t believe this.”
“Lily, it’s fine. Really.” I hold up the journal. “You kept me company.”
She eyes the journal and then groans. “This is mortifying.”
I toss the journal into the backseat. “I personally found it enlightening.”
Lily hits me playfully on my shoulder. “Stop laughing. I feel too bad for it to be funny.”
“Don’t feel bad, you’re exhausted. And probably hungry. We could grab a burger on the drive back.”
Lily falls dramatically against her seat. “Let the fancy chef take the girl for fast food since she slept through her date. Why not?” She flips the visor down and notices the hair stuck to her cheek. “Wow, I am such a mom. Is this our last date? It is. Did I ruin this already? I wouldn’t blame you.”
I put the car in reverse. “Not even close after everything I just read. Not sure anything could top this date.”
“You have very low standards, Atlas.”
I find her self-deprecation adorably attractive. “I have a question about your journal.”
“What?” She’s wiping away a smear of mascara. Everything about her seems so defeated now that she thinks she ruined our date. I can’t stop smiling, though.
“The night of our first kiss… did you put the blankets in the washer on purpose? Was that a trick to get me to sleep in your bed?”
She scrunches up her nose. “You read that far?”
“You were asleep for a long time.”
She contemplates my question, and then nods an admission. “I wanted you to be my first kiss back then, and that wouldn’t have happened if you kept sleeping on the floor.”
She’s probably right about that. And it worked.
It’s still working, because reading her description of our first kiss brought back every feeling she pulled out of me that night. She could sleep the entire way back home, and I’d still think this was the best date I’ve ever been on.
Chapter Twelve Lily
“I can’t believe you let me sleep for that long.” It’s been ten minutes, and my stomach is still rolling from embarrassment. “Did you finish reading the whole journal?”
“I stopped after I read about our first kiss.”
That’s good. That’s not too embarrassing. But if he would have read about the first time we had sex while I was sleeping in the seat next to him, I’m not sure I could have recovered.
“This is so not fair,” I mutter. “You have to do something mortifying so the scales even out, because right now I feel like I’ve completely ruined our night.”
Atlas laughs. “You think me doing something to mortify myself will make you feel better about tonight?”
I nod. “Yes, that’s the law of the universe. Eye for an eye, humiliation for humiliation.”
Atlas taps his thumb on his steering wheel as he massages his jaw with his free hand. Then he nudges his head toward his phone, which is sitting in the cupholder. “Open the Notes app on my phone. Read the first one.”
Oh, wow. I was kidding, but I snatch up his phone so fast. “What’s your password?”
“Nine five nine five.”
I enter the numbers and then glance over his home screen while I have it open. Every app is tucked neatly into a folder. He has zero unread texts and one unread email. “You’re a neat freak. Who has one unread email?”
“I don’t like clutter,” he says. “Side effect of the military. How many unread emails do you have?”
“Thousands.” I open the Notes app and click on the most recent one. As soon as I see the two words at the top, I drop the phone, pressing it facedown on my thigh. “Atlas.”
“Lily.”
I can feel my embarrassment being swallowed up by a warm wave of anticipation falling over me. “You wrote me a Dear Lily letter?”
He nods slowly. “You were asleep for quite a while.” When he glances at me, his smile falters, like he’s worried about whatever it is he wrote. He faces forward again, and I can see the roll of his throat.
I lean my head against the passenger window and begin to read silently.