Lily smiles appreciatively.
Emerson begins to stir awake on my leg. She opens her eyes and looks at me, and then immediately searches for Lily. She makes a beeline for her, right across my lap. When she’s in Lily’s arms, I lift my leg and stretch it. I haven’t been able to move it for over half an hour and it’s asleep.
“We should go,” she says. “I feel guilty for even being here with her. I’d be livid if Ryle took her around a girlfriend without me knowing.”
“I think your situations are a little different. Ryle isn’t having to find a safe place to hide your daughter for the day because he’s scared of your temper. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
Lily shoots me a grateful look.
I help her gather their things and I walk her to the car. Once Emerson is in her car seat, Lily moves close to say goodbye. I burrow my fingers in her hips and tug her closer. I dip my head, grazing her nose, and then I catch her lips with mine. I kiss her deeply, wanting her to still feel it on her drive home.
I slide my hands into the back pockets of her jeans and squeeze her ass. It makes her laugh. Then she sighs wistfully. “I already miss you.”
I nod in agreement. “There’s been a lot of that on my end,” I admit. “I’m kind of obsessed with you, Lily Bloom.” I kiss her cheek and then force myself to release her.
This is the only negative aspect to finally being with the person you’re meant to be with. You go years aching to be with them, and when they finally become a significant part of your life, it somehow hurts even more.
Chapter Twenty-Six Lily
You disappoint me Lily.
I’m staring at my phone in shock.
Is this a joke?
You treat me like a monster im her goddamn father
It’s five in the morning. I woke up to use the bathroom, and naturally, I glanced at my phone before attempting to get the last hour of sleep before my alarm goes off.
All the texts are from Ryle. I haven’t heard from him since he showed up at my house on Sunday. It’s been four days, and he never even bothered to reach out and apologize for losing his temper on me. He was silent for four days and then this?
I was happier before I met you.
I read through the barrage of text messages, knowing full well he was drunk when he sent them last night. The first one was sent at midnight, and the last one, from two in the morning, reads, have fun fucking the homeless guy.
I drop my phone onto my bed, my hands trembling. I can’t believe he sent these. I was hoping the four days of silence was a stretch of remorse on his part, but it’s obvious he’s been stewing in his anger.
This is so much worse than I thought.
I try to go back to sleep, but I can’t. I get up and make myself a cup of coffee, but my stomach is too upset to drink it. I spend the next half hour standing in my kitchen, staring at nothing, replaying those texts over and over in my mind.
When Emerson finally wakes up, I’m relieved. I am more than welcoming to the distraction of our chaotic morning routine.
* * *
By the time I drop her off with my mother and make it to work, it’s eight o’clock sharp. I’m the first one at the flower shop, so I distract myself with as much as I can until Serena and Lucy show up. Lucy can tell something is wrong with me, she even asks me if I’m okay at one point, but I reassure her that I’m fine.
I pretend I am fine, but I’m watching the front door every chance I get, expecting Ryle to angrily burst through it. I wait for another mean text from him. I wait for the phone to ring.
Hours go by and there’s nothing. Not even an apology.
I don’t tell Atlas, I don’t tell Allysa, I don’t say anything to anyone throughout the day about what he’s done. It’s embarrassing. It’s insulting to Atlas; it’s insulting to me. I have no idea what to do about it, but I know that this isn’t something I’m willing to tolerate. I refuse to go the next seventeen years of my daughter’s life being abused in any way, even through text messages.
Serena has gone for the day, and it’s just Lucy and me when the inevitable finally happens. It’s after five, and we’re just getting ready to close up shop so I can pick up Emerson from my mother’s when Ryle walks through the front door.
My anxiety shoots through me like an explosion of lava.
Lucy has never been Ryle’s biggest fan, so she groans under her breath when she sees him and says, “I’ll be in the back if you need me.”
“Lucy, wait,” I whisper. I look down at my phone like I’m busy with something so Ryle can’t see my lips moving. “Stay.” I glance at her so she can see the concern in my eyes. She just nods and finds something to make herself look busy.